Silence or Delirium
by Satin-n-Crimson
Summary: [Cats Fic] Formerly titled Surfacing. A story full of darkness, passion, desire, twisted longings and corruption. But also of love and it's eternal fight against evil and to conquer all. Based around various songs by Sarah McLachlan. !Complete!
1. Chap 1: Witness

Disclaimer: Cats do not belong to me. Nor do the snippets of songs beginning each chapter. I'm just borrowing these things from Andrew Lloyd Webber, T.S. Eliot, RUG and Sarah McLachlan. Also thank you to the sites I got the lyric links too. So please don't sue me, it's not like you'd get much anyhow.

Author's Note: This story is a bit AUish about events that take place before and after the ball. And yes I know Jemima is the youngest of the tribe, but in this story she isn't so please... don't hurt me.

New Author's Note: You will notice some changes in this story, for one to be safe I will not be providing the full lyrics to the songs which go with Part 1 and Part 2 of the stories. I will provide links to them however. The snippets will still be present and I am also removing the cast list and placing it on my profile page under the information for the story.

**Silence (Delirium)**

**Rating: **Strong PG-13 to R

_Lyrics_

_------- scene breaks_

**_Telepathy_**

**Part One:** **Out Of The Shadows**

Before the Jellicle Ball

**Chapter One: Witness**

_and when we're done soul searching_

_as we carried the weight and died _

_for the cause is misery made beautiful _

_right before our eyes will mercy be revealed_

_or blind us where we stand..._

Jemima sighed, the sound exhaled her lips in a sadden manner. Tears welled behind her full eyes, eyes that were called pretty, even beautiful. She didn't understand why all the other cats liked her so much, most of it she figured was pure pity and not because she had a beautiful voice or eyes, it was because she had no one, she was an orphan. Sure Jellylorum had taken her in when she had been found, small, weak and barely alive. She had even taken to calling the marmalade queen Mom, but the black, red and white kitten knew better, her mother was someone else... but whom?

Always the same question, since the day she had learned to speak "Who is my Mother?", but of course no one had an answer... because well, no one knew or so they said. Jemima understood this, but still she wanted to know. Often her dreams were plagued by her plight, and the only thing she could really remember was the scream of a female voice and the insane cackling of a madman. Was the scream she remember that of her true mother's? And that laugh... it had been heard before, but the idea of Macavity being her father was absurd. Grumbling the kitten curled up and forced herself to sleep, knowing the dreams would come as they always did.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Across the other side of the junkyard that the tribe of cats known as Jellicles called home, something was obviously wrong. The sweet smell of blood tainted the air, and sounds of pain filled the night. At first it went fairly unnoticed, the black and silver tom parted himself from sleep and gazed around slowly," Hm." His face lifted slowly, his small nose sniffing at the air," Lonz wake up." He pushed gently at the side of a black and white form next to him.

" Uh...uhm...hm?" The lanky form shifted and stretched out, his nose catching the curious scent as well, his ears flattening back with a twitch," Pollicle?" His brown gaze met the blue one of the silver tiger tom.

" I don't think so." Munkustrap's ears had also flattened back, he knew that scent, but there was another with it, one he hadn't sensed before. Or to often anyhow, he was sure that it had been around the outskirts of the yard a few times now that he paused to think about it," I think it's Ma--"

Alonzo shook his head, his paw coming to rest on the obviously older tom's mouth," Don't even say that name." A look of disgust crossed his black and white features and quickly he tore his paw from the face of Munkustrap, who had licked his paw," Ugh! That was gross. No more hanging around that friend of yours, Rugger Tug or whatever."

The tabby laughed, his vocalization amused," Rum Tum Tugger and sorry, but can't really keep that far away from him, he is ..." The tall muscular form suddenly stiffened," Something's wrong out there, come on."

" Yeah, yeah I know. You forget you have a third brother don't you?" The younger tom stuck his tongue out and then followed his older brother and idol off the Old Ford and into the darker areas of the yard.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gold and black queen pressed her petite frame quickly up against the wall of cardboard boxes, as luck would have it this action made the large ginger tom before her miss and crash into the towering boxes causing a few of them to topple towards them.

"Damnit." He hissed, his voice velvety and dark," I'm warning you, do this again and I'll make your punishment worse than the last one!" With a swift moment the ginger cat held the female roughly in his grasp, his thick black claws digging into her arm.

" Please... let me go I'm of no use to you!" Her voice hissed, but no strength was there to back it up and so the words became but a whisper, a frightened one.

The larger male cat gave a snorted laughter," Pathetic. I'm disappointed in you Demeter, honestly haven't I taught you better? Haven't I taught you how to fight and be strong?" He leered at her, a single claw coming to trace gently down her face, which was wet with tears," You shouldn't cry. It's your own fault, I tell you time and time again you can't escape me, but you don't listen and that's your problem you little bitch. You never listen." More boxes toppled as he slammed her back into them, his hand moving to grip tight about her throat, gaining pleasure in her struggling.

" I...you...only...taught...me...how...how... to be a whore." The gold and black female managed out, her claws tearing deep into his arm. Her hazel stare wide with fright would not leave his, she was not going to give into his threats this time, she was tired of being his slave, his little kitten factory, even if she had only bore him one, technically two, but the first he had no clue about. Her next action however would get her no where at all as she spit in his face.

Macavity laughed, probably for a good minute or so," Yes, that's right my love. A whore, that's all you are. A filthy, stinking whore!" A growl emitted from his lips as her spit splattered across his face and he threw her into the boxes, watching with a satisfied smirk as they fell one after another atop the motionless form," I suggest you think about your situation Demeter and remember you are mine. Forever." With that the cat turned and lept into the shadows, half hoping she was dead.

He waited until his father had left, until his familiar scent was gone and then he crept from his hiding place amongst some bags of trash," Momma..." The little kitten looked frantically about, his markings more similar to his Father's rather than his golden mother," Momma where are you?" His little eyes fell upon the fallen boxes and he knew what had happened," No..." There near the middle of the fallen pile sat a motionless paw, gold in color," Momma..." In an instant the small kitten was up by the paw and licking at it furiously, tears streaming from his eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Munkustrap skidded to a silent halt at the scene before him, a kitten very young was atop a fallen pile of cardboard and licking at something while wailing in a pitiful manner. His eyes tore slowly from the scene and towards his youngest brother as he came up along side him," Place reeks of Macavity." He muttered coarsely and looked back towards the scene again, it made his heart lurch.

" Bloody hell." Alonzo gasped, his tone loud and surprised as he to beheld the sight and swore again," That... that bastard." He moved forward slowly, his eyes latched to the kit as he moved and paused just on the right of him," Hey little guy. Why don't you help me get whoever is under here out okay?"

The kitten nodded, giving a small sniffle," Momma...she's under there... Daddy got angry again." He told the nice black and white tom as he felt a paw come to rest on his shoulder and looked up seeing another nice looking tom, a familiar one. In fact both of them look familiar for some strange reason," Is... is she gonna be okay?" His sobs thickened, the words coming out more like hiccups.

Munkustrap could say nothing, all he could do was gently move the kit aside and began to help Alonzo move the boxes off the female form. Once they had been cleared a very audible gasp left his black lips at who it was," Alonzo... go get Bomba now. And get Jenny up, tell... tell her to be ready for a patient." He waited till his brother had departed, then carefully the tabby lifted the small queen from the ground and held her to him and glanced down towards the kitten," Come on Sport, you're with me." He forced a smile, but it was a sad one towards the little tyke.

" My name isn't sport." The small bundle of fur spat at the much larger tom," That's a name for a stupid pollicle. I'm Plato." The kit spoke defiantly, much in the way his Father would or even his Mother.

The black and silver striped cat gave a small chuckle and nodded," I'm Munkustrap, but call me Munkus if you like kid."

Plato gave a small nod and a sniffle looking towards his mother's unconscious form," She's gonna be okay right?" Tears welled in the kit's eyes and a few of them, despite his earnest trying to be brave fell.

" She'll be fine. A nice cat named Jennyanydots will take good care of her."

Plato looked hopeful at Munkustrap," Promise? I...I love my Mother and I don't want Daddy to hurt her anymore. He's a bad cat." His hissed bravely.

Munkus had to chuckle again as they walked back towards the main area of the junkyard," I promise she'll be okay and your Daddy will never hurt her again, I'll see to that personally." Munkustrap's hatred for his half brother had suddenly deepened into a deep loathing.

That seemed to put the kitten at ease, but suddenly he darted behind Munkustrap's legs and peered forward shaking, three figures coming in their direction had obviously spooked the young tom, but they were in fact nothing to fear at all as Munkustrap saw that Alonzo had returned with Bombalurina and Jenny in tow.

"Deme...Oh Everlasting Cat! Demeter!" The sultry red queen known by a variety of shorter versions of her full name launched forward towards the silver tom with a look of both fright and relief across her features," Munkus...she isn't... is she?" It was obvious that Bomba was suddenly taken back by the prone state of her long lost sister in the arms of her lover's brother.

"No. She's alive and lucky." His eyes drifted to Jenny who had spotted the kitten and was trying to coax him out to her," Go on Plato, they're nice. They'll take care of you." His gentle blue gaze smiled down at the kit cowering behind his legs.

"Plato?" Bombalurina blinked, slowly peered around the tall tom to spy a kitten with very familiar markings and gave a gasp," No...oh Heavyside. That son of a B--"

"Bombalurina! Not in front of the kit please." Jenny had finally spoken, she knew more about the queen in Munkustrap's arms than the rest present did, even her own sister," Especially when that kit is your Nephew. You should set a good example being his Aunt." It was difficult for Jenny not to say much else, for not many cats knew what she did, in fact only two others. Namely Old Deuteronomy and Jelly, but that was all, but in time she knew the truth would come out.

This revelation had reeled the scarlet queen into a silent state. Nephew? Her sister had a-- by that---," Oh Heavyside." She managed to say again, but the words were airy, and all she could do was stare at the small little furry face that had begun to peek out and stare at them.

" Aunt?" Plato looked at Bombalurina and then to Munkustrap who nodded, and then his gaze moved back to Bombalurina," Aunt Bomlrena?" He slowly moved towards her, nervous and timid, shy like his mother.

" Close enough squirt." The queen had knelt down, her arms stretch out in a welcoming manner to the kit as he edged nearer," But Aunt Bomba works, easy to say." Tears welled in her eyes and slowly trickled down her cheeks as Plato finally got close enough for her to wrap up in her arms," Wow... just wow." Her green stare flickered towards Jenny who nodded approvingly and then to Munk and Alonzo who was laughing," What's so funny spotty?" Bomba smirked, knowing the black and white tom detested that nickname.

"Sorry...but man is Tugger gunna flip seeing you holding a kit." He managed between laughs," Woo I wanna see the look on that tom's face when he sees this!" But with a grunt, Alonzo was suddenly driven into silence by Jenny's elbow in his gut.

No one seemed to be paying much attention at the current second to Munkustrap now, or the queen in his arms who was slowly stirring, her body automatically rumbling out a low purr at the warmth of Munk's body against hers, his strong arms holding her like she was nothing. The blue eyed tom could do nothing but return her automatic gesture, his head coming to nuzzle gently against the top of hers," Come on Deme, wake up." So beautiful the second eldest son of the Jellicle Leader thought to himself as he was soon met by fluttering lashes that revealed twin hazel eyes.

" I-- where..." Demeter let a small gasp leave her lips. Blue eyes. But they were cold like Macavity's they... they were kind, loving and full of worry," M-- Munkustrap...Jellicles... thank Heavyside I'm safe..." Suddenly something else hit her mind and with a start she tried to remove herself from the tom's arms, but weakly got no where at all," Plato! Where's my son... I have to go get him from that piece of pollicle shit, I'll kill him so help me!" She was hysterical, thrashing about, her eyes wide and frantic, but slowly she calmed as her eyes beheld the sleeping form in Bombalurina's arms," Oh..." Her hazel stare fell to her paws, which had suddenly felt sticky and when she looked towards the face of the sentinel she knew why," I'm sorry. My nerves I...I'm so scared." She couldn't be brave anymore and with a heaved sigh, Demeter collapsed against the tabby's chest and cried. Her tears were of freedom, of happiness, but also of pain and worry. He would be back, Macavity always came back for what was his.

Munkustrap could do nothing but hold the fragile queen, his face stung where her claws had dug, but he ignored it and instead of growing angry with her as his half-brother would have, he only held her closer to him as she cried," Ssh. It's going to be okay Demeter. You're home, with those who love you and that son of a bitch will never lay so much as a whisker on you again." His tone was protective, but in a different manner. This had been a dear friend once, a childhood crush at one point as well and he couldn't stand to see her hurting in any way at all," I promise."

Jenny gave a small smile at the display of protection by Munkustrap, it was a lovely sight, one she had wanted to see for so long, but of course Demeter had been young back then and impulsive, she also had a thing for rough toms. Older ones too and that had been where Munkustrap's older half-brother came into her life and ruined it. The only good that had come of that mating had been two kittens. Plato and his elder sister. With Demeter back hopefully, Jenny knew that she'd need to go talk to Jelly first thing in the morning and give her the news that would both break her heart and make her happy," Come on, let's get Deme back to my place so I can look her over. Make sure nothing is broken. Her wrist does look like it might be sprained."

Without another word, the four cats moved towards the old tub that Jennyanydots called home along with her life-mate Skimbleshanks the railway cat.

**_End of Chapter One..._**


	2. Chap 2: Lost

**Part One: Out of the Shadows**

Before the Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Two: Lost**

_By the shadows of the night I go _

_I moved away from the crowded room_

_That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret_

_They don't know how to feel, they don't know what is lost..._

It had been a week since Macavity had left her to die. Everyone had come to see her at Jenny and Skimble's place. They all made a fuss over Plato of course and ignored the fact he was Macavity's son. Demeter felt at peace here, but still she felt so confused and then the fact every sound she heard caused her instant alarm. Jenny had said something about trauma, mental and physical. Spells and other devices as well, but the gold and black queen hardly heard a word, she was still in a daze, lost and so frightened and she was beginning to ignore her son, he reminded her to much of his Father and Demeter was beginning to not want anything at all to do with the kit.

" Bomba, I'm glad you're here, she won't feed him or anything." Jenny spoke quietly, afraid that her patient might hear what she was saying," She won't even look at the poor thing. She claims he reminds her to much of Macavity. I'm almost tempted to ship the kit to Jelly's, but Jemi is a handful right now what with hitting her later kittenhood," Everlasting Cat knows I have my hands full enough with Vicki and Etcy. And Electra is still such a small thing. She gets into everything! Just this morning in fact--"

"Jenny. Hon I really hate to interrupt your story, but I could take him. I am his Aunt after all. I can get Teazer and Jerrie to steal some milk for the squirt." Bomba offered, her eyes lingering on the small red, gold and brown form. His body striped with black here and there much like his mother," He does look a lot like his pops don't he." The red queen sighed," Poor kid."

Jenny gave an astonished look, but then promptly remembered what and who she was dealing with and curbed her anger," I suppose... but please don't let that tom of yours be too much of an influence on him. All we need is another Tugger." The gumbie cat shook her head in utter disbelief of the Rum Tum Tugger.

"What about my brother?"

Bomba grinned," He's charming as ever Munkie." The smart scarlet coated feline's dark brow slowly rose at the fact her tomfriend's brother, who had just entered the humble abode of the railway cat's and his mate was hiding something behind his back, and she could smell them," Daisies huh Munkie?" A tell all smirk crossed her lips.

"Um... well I figured it might brighten Dem's-- Demeter's day up a little... she's been through a lot...and uh yeah." The strong silver tabby blundered like a school boy with a crush," And please don't call me Munkie... that's what Tugger calls me anytime he's trying to get something."

The red cat laughed," Sorry, I date that hunk of fur so I can't help but act like he does every so often. Deme likes Daisies. Be good to her Handsome." Bomba scooped up her Nephew and paused just before the tall tom," She needs a feller like you Munkus." The sexy queen placed a peck on the tom's cheek and excused herself. The red queen knew that if her sister hadn't ran off with Macavity, she and Munkustrap would've been mated and Plato would have had a better Father.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Whoa." The Rum Tum Tugger, or just Tugger as his friends call him stopped mid strut and took a double take at his queenfriend," Boms, babe there something you haven't told me?" The maine coon, who took after his Dad that way at least looked at his red queen with a curious stare.

"His name is Plato and no he isn't mine. He's Deme's." Bombalurina watched Tugger, closely as he moved up and gave the kit a sniff.

"Mac's too." He spat in disgust," Poor brat. Whoa! Hey!" The Tugger had barely a second to steer clear of a set of tiny claws that swiped at his nose," Chill it kiddo."

"I'm not a brat. I'm Plato. I'm gonna rule the world someday. Huh Aunt Boma?" The kitten had spunk, probably due to the father's side. Not probably, most likely.

Bomba could only chuckle," Sure thing kid, but right now what you're gunna do is take a nap."

" Not ..." yawn," sleepy. "The kitten tried to protest, but his eyes just seemed to feel all the more heavy.

"You can bunk the kid in my place if you want Boms. I need to talk to you bout some stuff I'm hearing anyhow." Tugger offered, trying his best to be supportive in the situation.

"Thanks Tug, really." The red queen smiled and tickled the tom just under his chin, which instantly got her a deep rumbling purr and a nuzzle.

"Keep that up Doll and the Squirt will have to go else where." Tugger growled in a seductive manner at his queen, who only gave a grin and raised brow back at him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Munkustrap was quiet, his movements silent and stealth like as he approached the basket

that Demeter occupied. She was asleep, her slender form curled up in one rounded corner of the space. She looked so venerable, so alone and scared. The young tom didn't understand why he felt so drawn to her. She was a tainted queen, she had left the tribe to pursue a dangerous relationship, but she had been pardoned under the circumstances and welcomed back by his Father and the tribe as a whole, no one had objected, but mostly the Jellicle Sentinel figured it was out of pity for her situation.

With no sound he settled next to the gold and black form, his own large black and silver body curling around hers, his strong arms coming around her as he placed the daisies next to the basket. His movements were slow and careful, he did not want to wake her; she was so beautiful in her sleep. His half brother had been a fool, he lost something so precious just because she wouldn't act exactly how he wished, or bared him enough kittens, whatever stupid reason that sorry excuse for a Jellicle had.

He felt her move slightly, her small frame turning, her eyes opened and staring widely at his face, he could only smile," Hey." His voice was soft, caring and gentle. He couldn't understand why he felt like this, she had just been a friend back when they were kittens... which really wasn't that long ago.

"Hey." She said in return, her body stretching, pressing more against his in doing so. In realization of this, the young queen blushed," How...how long have you, well you know..." She was quite at a loss for words, and feeling very awkward currently.

"Been here?" he smiled, her nervousness making her dare he think it, cute," Not long. I ... um I brought you something." Munkustrap smiled boldly and retrieved the daisies, holding them out to her.

The smile that had crossed her lips quickly faded in sight of the flowers. He used to bring her daisies, in memory of this, Demeter bit down on her lip not realizing she was backing away from her old kittenhood friend.

"Deme...don't-- don't you li-- like them?" The silver tabby stuttered, his heart falling and cracking with each scoot back she took," I guess I'll be going now. See ya around Demeter." His tone was full of hurt, he couldn't even look at her as he left. He had never felt so out of place in his life till now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She stayed curled in the corner, her green/brown eyes just staring helplessly at the flowers left behind. Munkustrap had looked so hurt by her actions, it wasn't his fault, he didn't know. Demeter kept telling herself this over and over long after the tom had left. She would not however go near the flowers, it was just too much and perhaps it scared her that the tabby was trying so hard to please her, because the last tom who tried almost as hard had hurt her. Had used her and she did not want that to happen again.

" How are you feeling deary? You look much better and oh! Look at this, Munkus brought your flowers, how sweet of him." Jenny smiled and gave the queen under her care a wink," I'll go put them in a vase and water for you. I'll just be a mo---"

"I... I don't want them." She spoke shyly, her voice barely a whisper and her eyes wide with unmistakable fear.

"Oh." All the joy in the gumbie cat's face faded at Demeter's words, she had so hoped that Munkustrap was to settle down, he'd be good for the golden queen too. In fact Jennyanydots strong believed that they would be good for each other. Without another word, the elder queen left the room, the daisies in hand. Why had Demeter looked so frightened by them? Perhaps Macavity had given her flowers once... maybe. Yes, yes, that was surely the reason. She'd just have a chat with Munkus and tell him to be more careful of his choices that's all.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What!" Bombalurina stepped back, she could not believe the piece of gossip her tomfriend had just relayed to her, it was insane, and it was completely absurd! She couldn't believe it and yet it did make perfect sense," Jemima... Jelly's Jemi? You can't be ser--" The look on Tugger's face was a rare one, it was very serious," ious...oh rumpus you are!"

" Think about it Bomsie. Have you looked at the kit's fur? Red, and black. Her designs very similar to Deme's. Only thing that's different is the white, but then again not all kittens hold a perfect resemblance to their parents. Munkus nor Lonz does to Old D that's for sure. I do, but only a slight." Tugger was stretched out across a cushion from an old sofa he had come across a while back, and Bomba was using his stomach as a pillow as they talked," Also the fact of Jemi's age too, the fact she has no parents. Poor kid has to live with two old goats."

Bomba scoffed and shook her head slowly," Jelly is not an old goat, just a..a... what do humans call it?"

" Spinster?" Tugger offered knowing a lot of quote slang terms.

"Yes. A Spinster. Thank you." The red queen gave a smile and tickled her tom at his ribs," I mean all she really does is take care of her pops, Gus that is. Oh and help Jenny out here and there."

Tugger reluctantly batted the queen's paw away from his ribs with a smirk," Right. Anyhow it's gotta be the real deal, I heard the old bats talking about it myself. Vicki heard it too. I was escorting her home last night only to find -- Oof! hey what was--" Tugger let a gasp of air out as Bomba's fist connected with his gut a second time.

" You know exactly what that was for! I can't believe you, still hepped with the kittens huh?" The red queen was not to happy at all with the main coon, in fact she was down right upset," I... I thought you said you'd give your ways as you call them a rest when I agreed to be your mate Tugger. And Vicki... she's... she's no older than Jemima!"

"Shit. Boms...I'm sor--"

"You always say you're sorry Rum Tum. Do you ever mean it? I stopped being a heart breaker, why can't you? It's not that hard... why-- why can't you be more like Munkustrap?" Bombalurina's paw instantly went over her mouth as she realized what she had said. It was the worst thing to say to Rum Tum Tugger, the middle brother and always out shadowed by his brother's goodness," Tugger... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just got a lot on my mind right now and... and I'm not thinking."

Tugger gave a snort, which sounded more like disgusted laughter and shook his head," Why? Why does everyone want me to be like that damn stick in the mud? He's so perfect, Tugger why don't you try looking up to your brother more? Tugger, why can't you be like Munkustrap, why can't you do this like him, why can't you do that. " His paws came down hard on the cushion," I'm not Munkustrap. I ain't ever going to be him babe. You want Mr Knight in Silver Tabby Armour by all means go get him. He's so bad with women he'd take you in a second just to learn how to be good." With claws bared he pointed towards the doorway of his lair," I'm tired of doing this Bomba. It ain't working anymore." His sighed, defeated.

She did not know what to say, for a moment all Bombalurina could do was sit there and stare. She didn't know how badly being in Munkustrap's shadow effected Tugger, most of the time he cracked jokes when someone said things to him such as he just mentioned. After a moment she found her voice and simply nodded in agreeance," You're... you're right. I'm tired too. Maybe we ought to give it a break for a while."

"No. Sorry Bomba, but this is it. It's over. I can't keep fighting like this with you or walk on eggshells just to keep you happy. You're jealousy is driving me nuts girl. I so much as look at another female and you get pissified." Had he really just said that? Had he just shunned the only woman that could ever be his equal? Possibly the only queen he could ever love? Did he love her? For once... the Rum Tum Tugger was unsure. He had no idea, he just suddenly felt a little lost as he watched the scarlet queen gather Plato and leave. Had that been tears in her eyes? Had he made her cry. Deject he sat down, placing his head in his paws," What have I done?...Oh Everlasting Cat what have I done?"

_**End of Chapter Two...**_


	3. Chap 3: Angel

**Part One: Out Of The Shadows**

Before the Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Three: Angel**

_Spend all your time waiting _

_for that second chance for a break _

_that would make it okay there's always _

_one reason to feel not good enough _

_and it's hard at the end of the day... _

For a long time Jellylorum could only stare at Jemima as she looked through an old book, it was a Theatre book a play that her Father, Gus the Theatre Cat had once been in. The kitten's Mother had returned, and she had another, a son. But that son reminded her to much of both kittens' Father now, and young Plato was now under the care of his Aunt Bombalurina, which Jelly wasn't to keen on. That scarlet cat was not always the best influence, nor was the company she kept. Old Deuteronomy's son or not, Rum Tum Tugger was less of a good influence than Bomba was.

The elder cat licked her lips with a sigh, her eyes heavy with tears already and she hadn't even told the kit anything... and just how would Jemima react? Would she hate the knowledge of this? Who she hate Jelly for not telling her? It had to be done, the kitten had a right to know the truth and the marmalade cat knew this," Jemima...Jemi honey, can you come here, you and I need to have a little talk." It was now or never.

" Sure Mom." Jemima smiled, her eyes falling on the only Mother she ever knew, and at the moment that Mother was very saddened by something," Did I... do something wrong?" The black and red kitten could not think of anything at the moment, but like all kittens she had a knack for trouble.

"No. I just have something to tell you... it might come as quiet a shock." Jelly paused, her paw shaking with nerves slowly took the younger paw of her daughter... no. She was not her daughter anymore, she was rightfully Demeter's," Jemima... you can't call me Mom anymore. I-- I'm not your Mother. Someone else is..." Why was this so hard? Why had it felt like she hadn't been good enough? With these thoughts the flood gates opened and tears slowly fell.

"I know that... you told me I was adopted by you...I was...adopted right?" A lump rose steadily in the youngster's throat, she had always wanted to know who her real parents were, but now when it was staring her in the face... she wasn't sure if she wanted to know at all.

Jelly slowly shook her head," No honey. I never adopted you. I--- I was just taking care of you until your Mother, your real Mother ever came back and she did. Rumpus... you look so much like her. You're face mostly...Do you want to go see her?"

The shock stung like a slap to the face, never in her one year of life had Jemima expected it to end like this, for it to hurt so much. It felt like everything she had known was crashing down around her. In answer to Jellylorum's question all she could do was give a nod of her head.

"Okay." Jelly softly smiled, patting the younger queen's hand," Okay."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Old Ford was a favorite place for most. It was a place to stretch out, get some sun and think with a great view of the yard. Munkustrap was found here the most, it was his look out point, how he kept the yard safe being the Leader's oldest son. Claimed son anyhow. Munkustrap did not even want to begin wondering about the state of the tribe if Macavity had not been renounced from the tribe's ranks and disowned by their Father. Macavity's mother had been different from Munkustrap's, Rum Tum Tugger's and Alonzo's. But both mates of Old Deuteronomy had died shortly after birth. In fact for some reason most of them had, and thus the explanation of the wording of his song made sense.

But Munkustrap was not on the Old Ford to think about his family, he was there to try and figure out how he had messed up with Demeter. What had he done wrong? What had spooked her? She had seemed to stare a lot at the flowers, like she was seeing a ghost," I'm such a loser."

"Care if I join that club Bro?"

The Sentinel of the Tribe turned and shrugged," Space available Tugger. What's up?" He asked, sliding his long form over, making room for his younger brother beside him to stretch out if he liked.

" Eh... not much. Broke off with Bomba." His tone, despite not trying to sounded hurt.

" You'll be back in each other's arms by next week. Don't worry so much about it Tugger." Munkustrap tried to reassure the lion maned tom, but knew it wasn't working.

"Ha! Don't bet on it bro. I told her it was over. I mean like over over too." The mostly black cat sighed and rested his head atop the hood of the Old Ford, laying on his back.

For a moment Munkustrap did not believe it. Tugger and Bomba were about as much of a duo as the two kittens Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer or the dark twins, but after a moment of no punchline he knew it was true," Rumpus. That bites Tugger, really. What did it in this time?"

" Two things bro. We both made the mistakes this time, wasn't just my happy pants. I was hanging around Victoria to much and she asked me why I couldn't be more like you and that was the kicker."

The black and silver tabby just nodded," Funny. I always wish I was more like you." A slight chuckle escaped his lips and soon turned into full laughter.

Tugger, who had closed his eyes suddenly opened them with a curious expression. Munkustrap... laughing? What for? It wasn't that funny was it? His face fell," Figures you'd find it all funny." The cat snorted.

" Err. Sorry Tugs. I wasn't laughing at that, just how they all want you to be like me and I wish I was more like you. A bit ironic I guess." He grew silent for a moment and then spoke again once he was sure the air was cleared," So... you needed something?"

RTT shrugged, and went about grooming his mane," Nah. Just wanted to talk mostly. How's Deme? I know she's half of Bomba's problem. Heavyside knows I'd be acting the same way if it was you or Lonzie. "

Munkustrap could not answer that question, he felt it was not his place and without a word lept down from the hood of the Old Ford, leaving his brother there alone," I'm going to go check Alonzo. Make sure he's doing okay at his post." With that the large tom was gone, leaving his brother bewildered and wondering what he had done or said wrong this time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Demeter? Are you awake you have some visitors." Jennyanydots was in a much better mood since yesterday, even despite the fact she hadn't spoken with Munkustrap yet about the flowers. Hearing movement in the young queen's room, the Gumbie Cat escorted both Jelly and Jemima into the golden queen's room and shut the door behind her with a sigh," Oh Everlasting Cat let this go well."

"They in there with the lass, Jenny?" Skimbleshanks was home for a few days, he had spent most of the time lounging about and reading the paper to catch up on important things in the world he had missed.

" Yes. I do hope it all works out okay. I feel the worst for Jemi, poor dear. Having that-- that son of a pollicle for a father!"

Skimble could only pat his mate on the shoulder, both their eyes locked upon the door that separated them from the other three.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Demeter felt air catch in her throat as her eyes fell upon the pretty kitten in Jelly's company. In an instant she knew who it was, her first born. Her daughter. Macavity's daughter. She had his red coloring, as well as her mother's black. The gold queen felt very strangely, she could understand also how Jemima was feeling. She had found out who her mother was in a similar manner. Only it was a harsher reality... and her once lover and mate had told her. Grizabella the glamour cat. Who like Macavity was shunned from the tribe, but had been so longer just after Demeter's own birth in fact and it had been her own sister and the queen before her, Jellylorum who had raised the golden queen.

"Deme... you have something to tell Jemima don't you?" Jelly could do nothing to keep her tears at bay. She had raised both the cats in the room with her, with Demeter she felt as though she had somehow messed up and Jemima had been a chance to rectify the mistakes. If only she knew the truth, if only she knew that she hadn't made any mistakes at all and that Demeter had done it all on her own.

" You might want to sit down, please." Demeter spoke softly, her eyes never leaving that beautiful face of her daughter, who did as asked and settled on the floor at the feet of the queen who had raised her. For a long time silence rang, it surrounded them, but then the hazel stare met the soft amber one of Jelly's and the golden queen broke," She's so... so perfect Jelly. I thank you, I'm so proud and I will never be able to repay you for your kindness, for all you've done for me." Tears sprang from her eyes, moistening her cheeks and collecting in her fur," For all you've done for Jemima too."

Jellylorum could only nod, her tears had broken sobs from her lips and no words could leave them at current. Her eyes wavered to Jemima before her and a shaking hand softly fell into the kitten's mane and gently ran through it, in a soft and gentle manner.

" I-- don't understand... are you... you can't be can you?" Jemima had found her voice, the golden queen before her was so familiar, she had seen her often in her dreams. She remembered a stormy night, the face staring at her now full of fear as she ran, clutching a barely born version of herself and stopping at a door, asking the queen behind her to raise her daughter, to take care of her and someday she'd come back," ...Mother."

Jelly knew that it wasn't directed to her, that the kitten before her was hers no longer. Her job was done, and had been done well. With a sob, the marmalade cat gave the black and red kitten a push forward," Go to her. You both need this. I'll...I'll be outside." Before a protest could be made, Jelly was gone and collapsed crying into the arms of her sister and brother-in-law beyond the door.

Demeter did not know what to do or say, this was something new to her. Plato she had kept, only because Macavity had wanted an heir. A female would do him no good and so she had to give her Jemima away," I know this must be quite a shock to you... and I wish I could make it easier on you, but I can't. I'm so sorry for that Jemi...really I am." By now the kitten had found her way into the gold queen's arms and was crying. Demeter did her best to comfort the girl, stroking her fur, but in truth a part of her want to push the kitten away, for all she saw was red and black when she looked at her. Macavity," You...um... have a little brother. His name is Plato. He's with your... your Aunt."

At this news, anything Jemima was going to say to her mother was lost. She only gripped the golden queen tighter and then slowly let go. Why hadn't she been kept? Why had her little brother gotten the pleasures of knowing their mother when she had been born first? Why had she been forced to live a lie when he didn't have too. It was unfair. It wasn't fair at all.

_**End of Chapter 3...**_


	4. Chap 4: Black and White

**Part One: Out Of The Shadows**

Before the Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Four: Black and White**

_The road is long _

_the memory slides _

_to the whole of my undoing put aside _

_I put away I push it back _

_to get through each day _

_and all I feel is black and white _

_and I'm wound up small and tight and I don't know who I am ..._

Four months had come and gone in the Junkyard since Demeter and Plato had been found and brought into the safety of the tribe. Much to most Jellicles' relief, Macavity had not attacked them in search of his quote ex-mate and son, an obvious heir to his world. During the four months that had passed, Demeter and her son had settled in nicely with Bombalurina, with occasional visits from Jemima, who was taking her time upon getting used to everything, this new life as it was. Both Demeter and Jelly had agreed that Jemima should be where she felt more comfortable, and soon Jelly became Grandma Jelly to both Plato and his sister, only because their real Grandmother could probably care less.

Other things had changed, Demeter was a very alert cat, any noise and she grew tense and sometimes was prone to calling out "Macavity!" if she thought she had picked up his scent. Plato was growing to be a strong tom, spending a lot of his time not with the other kittens, but rather his idols. Namely, Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger and Alonzo, in that order. But mostly he was around Munkustrap the most, who was often found hanging around Bombalurina and Demeter's closet home anyhow. The whole tribe knew the favored son of Deuteronomy had a serious thing for the troubled golden queen, but for reasons never seemed to act on it, and nor did she do anything on her end.

The Jellicle Ball was coming up also and the Tribe was a buzz with who was going to go with whom and who was to begin the mating dance. Most figured it would be Victoria as she was of age now and needed to become a queen. However Old Deuteronomy had to make that call in a meeting with the Tribe elders, his eldest son and the kitten and her parents.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bombalurina gave a long, rather bored sigh. Since her and Tugger's very official break-up life had gotten dull for the scarlet queen, the only upbeats in it was Deme and little...or rather not so little Plato. The kit was to her waist now and by this time next year would be just as tall as the stately red cat, if not taller. He could even say her full name now, but was more comfortable with calling her Auntie or Aunt Boma, as he had since the two had met. The kid was making the queen realize how old she was, by cat age standards she was reaching middle age and she was not about to end up as a spinster like Jelly, but with the right tom not being her tom anymore Bomba was slowly getting used to such an idea.

"Oh Rumpus. Bomba... I don't know who I'm going to go to the ball with. No one has asked me... I doubt anyone will. Have you been asked?" Demeter looked towards her sister, who was blissfully gazing out the window, the reason was very obvious as well from the loud shrieks and screams of Ectcetra.Tugger. Her attention averted back to her son a moment, who was finding it difficult to remain still as his mother worked on his Roach costume for the Ball," Almost done love." Demeter assured the impatient kit.

"I don't know... I was think on just not going actually. Figured I'd just offer to watch the kits that can't go... or something." Bomba answered in a far away voice.

Finishing the last bit on Plato's costume, Demeter let the boy go off to play, giving her usual motherly warnings before coming up along side her sister," You love him don't you?" Her gaze moved from Tugger, who was entertaining a fray of kittens, her son included with some story.

" I... I don't know Deme. Honestly, at one time I thought I did, but that day when we fought... " The red queen shook her head," I just don't know."

Demeter nodded and placed a paw on her sister's shoulder," Come with me to the Ball Bomba. Jemima is going to let Plato escort her." The golden queen gave a pout, resting her head where he paw had been," Please...I've never been to the Ball before, but I don't want to go alone."

Despite herself, Bomba had to laugh and slowly shook her head," Alright. You win. I'll go, but on one condition." The clever queen gave a clever smile," You have to dance at least one dance with Munkus."

Demeter froze slightly, but then blurted out a question," Why?"

"Because. Because you've been ignoring everything that tom does for you Demeter. He'd die for you ! You won't let him in, or give him a chance at all. He treats Plato like a son, I don't know what you're problem is, but I dare say you're as blind as old Gus." Bombalurina spat, her temper threatening to rise. So much pressure lately with trying to be interested in what she wanted, and so the scarlet queen had turned her intentions and attentions on getting her sister settled with a nice tom, mainly the next in line Jellicle Leader.

Demeter stepped back, her petite frame landing instantly on a cushion of their closet home. She stared wide-eyed at her older sister, no one had yelled at her like that since her last encounter with Macavity. Her heart beat quickened and she cowered, fear rising up and spreading throughout her entire body," I'm... I'm sorry please, d--don't hurt me."

She was begging for mercy, begging not to be hurt, not to be punished. At seeing her own blood and fur cower before her, Bombalurina sighed and stepped down, her tall shapely frame coming to kneel beside that of her shaking sister," Oh Deme, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step all over your tail. I'm... I just don't feel like myself much right now. It's like someone stole a piece of me, but I know right where to find it and that's... well that's the sad thing."

Her fear slowly ebbed away, her eyes lifted and her arms fell slowly back to her sides and she gave a small nod," I know... kind of. I... well I think I still love him Bomba."

It was the last thing Bombalurina ever wanted to hear from her sister's lips. It was enough to make the scarlet queen want to hit the girl, to knock some sense into her," No. No. No. No. Deme you do not love that piece of pollicle shit. He hurt you or don't you remember? He did terrible things to you, unrepeatable things. He even tried to kill you. That's not love Deme, that cruelty." Bombalurina knew things, she knew how Macavity was, he was no gentlecat, he was a mean cat. A cunning cat.

"No. I don't remember. I only remember the good things, how happy he was when Plato was born, he even named him you know. He saw the name in a book, a human book. He's a very smart cat Bomba, and rich too. He--- he oh heavyside Bomba... he never told me he loved me did he?" Her face became dazed, her mind thrown back to times long ago and best forgotten.

" That's right he didn't. He used you, remember that Demeter. Always remember that, and remember he could do it again." Bombalurina held her sister as she cried, a soft tune humming from her lips, something their mother once sang to the red queen when she was but a kitten.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite his audience, Tugger's mind was else where, on the window carefully cut out of the closet home of Bombalurina and her sister and her kit. She had been there, watching him and looking sad, he watched her expressions change, he saw her yell at Demeter and gave a silent sigh. Was he driving her to hate her own sister? No, certainly not. Demeter needed a good talking to anyhow, she was being so shy and so afraid of everyone, including both his brothers. Poor Munkus, the tom did not have it easy, he had fallen for one of the most difficult queen's the Rum Tum Tugger had ever seen in his life.

"Oh Tugger! Tell us the one about how you saved that queen again, pleeease! It's my favorite!" Etcetera practically screamed as she bounced up and down. If Tugger didn't know better he'd swear that the kitten was on catnip constantly.

"Alright, see a long time ago, before you all were born and during my first life I lived during the time of kings, and I of course sat on each one's throne just to see what it was like." The master story teller took a breath, shooting his admirers each a wink, and then moved to continue," Well there was this evil cat, and he had a beautiful princess with red fur locked away in a castle high upon an ench---"

"I hate to spoil the fun, but Tugger I need to speak with you now please." Munkustrap ignored the groans and protests from the kittens of the tribe, but of course he did not fail to notice Plato coming up to him and smiled, kneeling down eye level with the curious kitten," Hey kid." A large black paw ruffled the fur atop the smaller tom's head a bit.

"Hi Munkus. Are we going to do something fun today? I wanna learn how to hunt rats! I don't like rats. They're big black and ugly. They stink too." Plato stared at his idol with wide blue eyes, eyes like his Father's.

Chuckling, Munkustrap shook his head as he waited for his brother to get rid of his fan club," Not today Plato, but I got a present for you and Mistoffelees showed me a trick too, ready?"

Plato gave a lively nod and jumped," Yup! Show me please Munkus! Please! Please!"

"Alright, now watch closely." Munkustrap made a few magical gestures with his hand and then slowly produced a small soft mouse, that squeaked when you gave it a squeeze to the stomach," And there you go. Have fun kid, annoy your Mother and Aunt all you want with it." The Silver tabby chuckled at the small mischievous grin upon the kit's face as he raced off, mouse plushie in tow.

"Alright. fan club gone so what's shakin and bakin Munkie?" Tugger gave a smirk, as he spotted the son of Demeter playing happily with his new toy," I swear man, you could give that kid a piece of greasy paper and he'd think it was the coolest thing ever Bro."

Sheepishly the Sentinel shrugged, a bit of a blush crossing his features," Uh huh. Right so anyhow, I was speaking with our Father, and he wants us to keep an eye out better. He says he's noticed some strange happenings, things missing and such."

Tugger gave a snort of amusement," Probably Mungo and Teazer up to their usual?"

" I hope. But Father seems to think it's more then that, after all rumors have it that Mungojerrie still does odd jobs for Macavity, so we can't be to careful."

"Right. What about the apple of your eye? She might be still working for him all this time ya know, right under our noses and a right good actress I say if she is." Tugger offered, he had a soft spot for the twins of Victoria Grove and so of course he jumped to defend them, just as he knew Munkustrap would jump to defend Demeter.

"Don't scoff Tugger. Honestly, would someone who's been through what Dem has still work for that son of a pollicle? I don't think so." Munkustrap did as his brother had predicted and stuck up for the golden queen.

"Right. Point taken, but still she's messed up. Some of the kits have taken to calling her psycho kitty and frankly I don't blame them. She is a little out there Munkie." Rum Tum Tugger was not stupid, he knew exactly what he was doing, but anything to get both his brother and Demeter out of their misery worked for him. Because of his love struck silliness, Munkustrap had lost his appeal as a tease worth object and that could just not due, part of a good Tugger day was teasing and annoying the hell out of his perfect older brother.

" Tugger. I know what you're up to with talk like that, I will not go and throw myself at that queen. She doesn't want me, I don't know why... but she doesn't. " Munkustrap felt defeated, and very alone suddenly.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He had made a mistake, and he knew it too. He had hoped, even waited that she would return to him and all would be forgiven. It never happened and what hurt most of all was she had taken their son with him. His Plato. His heir. He wanted them both back with him, if only he hadn't lost his temper with her, but finding her hanging around the Jellicle's yard what could he do? What was she doing there anyhow?

Come to think of it she went there a lot, had she been going out behind his back with another tom? Macavity gave a snort, she wouldn't dare. This was something else, something his once mate had taken measures about, something she didn't want to him know, ever. Now that was something to be angry about, even hurt. She had hurt him, but what did he do? He hit her, raped her, did things no cat should do to another.

"Demeter." He sighed her name, he wanted her back. She was his after all, ever since he had bewitched her away from the Jellicles, his stupid Father and his goody-goody Half brothers, one of which his Deme had been getting rather close with, the one he hated most of all. Munkustrap. That damned tabby got everything that Macavity wanted. He should have been the Sentinel of the tribe, the favored son, but no he had to as his Dad put it failed him, made a disappointment out of himself," I will have you back someday my love. Someday." And his cold laughter filled the stone room.

_**End of Chapter Four...**_


	5. Chap 5: I Love You

**Part One: Out Of The Shadows**

Before the Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Five: I Love You**

_And the night's too long and cold _

_here without you I grieve in my condition_

_for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so..._

"No. Never, I'll never go back!" The nightmares were back, but they had grown worse, she had begun sleep walking now, her body moving, running trying to get away from that which was after her," Let me go! He's not your son anymore!" By now she had taken herself out into the middle of the yard, the storm that had blown in drowning her fur with rain as she stumbled in the slick mud.

Munkustrap had night watches, only because he could stay awake, and because Alonzo hated the night shift. It wasn't his style, but Munkustrap could deal with anything, however with the hardness of the falling rain, the fearless Tabby had been forced to take refuge under the Old Ford, but still he could see most of the yard and keep track of the going ons, but what he did not expect to see was Demeter stumbling about in a confused manner in the mud," De--" He stopped himself, she was sleep walking again, the last time someone had tried to wake her, she had gone crazy and Bomba had ended up staying with Jenny for a while, her arm cut up right good.

Moving carefully, the tall silver and black tom moved out into the rain, a disgruntled hiss leaving his lips as he got wet. Like most cats he was not fond of the water, at all. With a few quick bounds he was next to Demeter and leading her back towards the closet home she shared with her son and sister.

" No. You never said you loved me! I'll never be with you again Macavity! Never you hear me!" She struggled, her body pushing at Munkustrap's, her dream telling her she was fighting against Macavity," I don't love you anymore...I-- I love... someone else." Her tone had changed, it had softened, but then as quick as it had it became fierce again," No! Please oh ... no don't not again! Macavity please..." Her body trembled with fear and or cold and she clung to the Silver and black tom, her claws digging into his fur sharply.

Munkustrap did all he could to keep from crying out as her claws worked deeper and deeper into his chest. He had to get her to stop, but that would risk waking her and then what? He had some advantages over the small queen, for one he was bigger and two, stronger. Carefully taking a hold of her paws, he removed them from his chest and then lifted her into his arms. She had grown almost quiet now, her only sounds were that of defeated sobs. So helpless. He felt so many things for her, but was it all because of pity? In all honesty... he didn't know.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh thank the Great Rumpus Cat! She's okay. I thought---" Before she knew what she was doing, Bombalurina had lost her composure and was sobbing to an uncontrollable point against the door of the closet home, and for once she could care less if anyone saw this display of emotion, including the young kit who's arms had bonded about her knees and was staring hopelessly at the form of his mother.

" Is Momma okay Aunt Boma?" He looked to his strong Aunt, only to find her very sad, and not so strong. Plato did not know what to do, he wanted to be there for both his Mom and his Aunt, his sister too... but he knew he couldn't be there all the time, but luckily others could when he couldn't, like Munkustrap. The tom kitten was most relieved to see that it was his idol who held his Mother safely in his arms. It was a welcoming sight indeed.

"She'll be fine. She was just walking in her sleep again. Maybe... maybe I should take her to the dark twins?" Munkustrap offered, looking from the smaller face to the more shapely one as it nodded.

" Yes. Do. Do it now, go Munkus please help her. I can't, I can't do this anymore and Plato, the poor kid he's all out of sorts because his Mom is." Bombalurina slowly regained her composure and looked around," Munkus... she ... she keeps saying he's going to come back for her, and for Plato. That he's angry, hurt that she hasn't come back to him this time.. and there's more, but she's not telling me the whole deal." Fret and worry lined the usually sexy queen's face," I don't know how she knows all this, but Coricopat and Tantomile will know. Please get her some peace of mind. We all need it, even you."

The Sentinel nodded, his concern as deep and as grave as Bombalurina's, if not deeper," Okay. I'll take care of her. I promise, but you two go back to bed, and in the morning Bomba make arrangements for Plato to go spend time with Jelly for a while. At least till after the Ball." He knew that was a long time, two weeks, but the kit's safety was highly important.

"Alright. Just take good care of my girl Handsome." Bomba smiled, but it was sad and tired as she placed a small kiss on his cheek.

" I will. I always keep my promises."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The area of the junkyard the dark twins, Coricopat and Tantomile called home was an old run down small scale motorhome. All of it's tires were missing an so it sat flat on the ground with piles and piles of the usual assortments of junk around it and on top of it. Munkustrap wasn't always to found of coming here, he had an odd experience once in the company of the dark ones when he had been a kit. They had told him frightening things, things about his future. This leeriness had to be put aside for Demeter's safety, he could not stand to see her suffer like this anymore.

_**Come inside Sentinel**_. Came two voices in unison inside his mind. It was nothing knew to him, for most of the time Cori and Tanti as they were affectionately called rarely communicated any other way. Upon entering their abode, Munkustrap gave an annoyed sniff of the air and crinkled his nose.

"Forgive the smell. We expected this visit of the Silver seeking help for the Gold and so Tantomile has prepared a draught to calm Queen Demeter's dreams." Coricopat instructed as he met the second in command Jellicle and the queen in his arms at the door.

The silver tabby cocked his head to one side with a curious look. Why had Coricopat called her Queen Demeter? All female Jellicles five years and older were called queens, but only Jellicle royalty was referred in that manner and Demeter was not Jellicle royalty.

_**Not yet Sentinel. But the future holds a crown for her.**_ Tantomile smiled mystically as she entered the room where the other three cats where," The next three nights she must take a thimble full of this before she sleeps. If she misses a dose... her dreams will drive her into madness."

Munkustrap gave a shiver as he felt the pairs of eyes on him, studying him as he carefully adjusted Deme in his arms and took the bottle," Should I wake her and give her some now?"

Both the wiccas shook their heads," No." the replied in their eerie unison voices," Tonight her dream will plague her no more as long as the arms of the protector shields the devil from her mind."

"Go."

"Keep."

"Her."

"Safe."

One said after the other, both aloud an in the tabby's mind as the door behind him opened. Bewildered and shaken, Munkustrap exited the motorhouse and headed back towards the closet that Demeter and the rest of her little family called home.

_**Stay strong Sentinel. For her.**_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So what's wrong with her? Did they help? Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes, she'll be fine Bomba, they want me to take care of her... why I don't know." Munkustrap's gentle azure eyes fell to the gold and black form still in his arms, he felt a sense of belonging as she shifted in her sleep and nuzzled closer against his chest. He could not help himself as a deep whisper of a purr began in his throat as she tangled her claws gently into his fur.

"Ugh. This stuff smell like pollicle crap!" Bomba exclaimed loudly as she put the stopper quickly back into the bottle that the Dark Twins had given to Munkustrap.

"Bomba not so loud you'll wake her." It was to late, the Silver and Black tabby sighed as he felt the small frame in his arms shifted and a small mew leaving the awoken queen's lips in surprise," It's okay Demeter. Go back to sleep."

" Munk... what are you... why am I..." She was lost. Both her and Munkustrap were soaking wet. He was holding her and she was very nestled against his body and tired. Giving a shiver and despite her reserves, the golden queen drew herself closer against the large tom," I'm... cold and wet. What happened?" Her voice was a nervous whisper, she feared the worst, that Macavity had tried to take her.

Gently Munkustrap sat the queen down, only to find her clinging to him for warmth. He looked up to see that Bombalurina had gone to fetch some blankets and had returned locating the largest she could find and wrapping it around both tom and queen," Thanks Bomba." He offered, his arms drawing Demeter close to him and laying down, his purr kicking in to help lull her back to sleep," Deme you need to sleep. Everything will be explained to you in the morning, but right now just sleep." His blue gaze lifted a moment, watching as Bomba curled up around her nephew a smile upon her face as she closed her eyes.

She was so tired. Munkus was right, she needed to sleep and he was going to keep her safe. Whatever had happened to her he wasn't going to let it happen again. Soon she felt and heard her own purr mingle with his as she closed her eyes, turning her frame so she could rest her head against his broad chest and curl her claws into his fur," I... I don't know what I'd do without you..." She whispered softly as sleep overcame her and she gave into it.

Her words had been heard, a gentle smile crossed the tom's face. She really did care, she wanted him to care about her. Joy and pride swelled inside Munkustrap's heart as it fed the love he had for the queen he was protecting in his arms. With this revelation he fell into a very contented sleep, purring all through the rest of the night.

_**End of Chapter Five...**_


	6. Chap 6: Building a Mystery

**Part One: Out Of The Shadows**

Before the Jellicle Ball

**Author Warning: ** This chapter contains the F word.

**Chapter Six: Building A Mystery **

_you woke up screaming aloud _

_a prayer from your secret god _

_you feed off our fears and hold back your tears _

_give us a tantrum _

_and a know it all grin _

_just when we need one when the evening's thin _

_oh you're a beautiful a _

_beautiful fucked up man _

_you're setting up your razor wire shrine..._

Macavity paced about his lair. His shaggy coat dusty from neglect standing on ends, bristled and full of nerves. He had yelled at most everyone today, even the stupid animals in his employment that couldn't understand a word he spoke. He wanted news, word, anything about his mate and heir," Where in the hell is Mungojerrie and that stupid sister of his!" A crash sounded as he kicked at his make shift desk causing it to sail across the room.

" He... they haven't returned yet sir. I could go find them... it might be they got hung up. Maybe even caught." Offered the Persian queen known as Griddlebone as she tried to soothe her employer's nerves," After all they're really just kits. Only three years of age, you know the rebellious stage. But they'll come, they always do." Her paws worked at the kinks in the ginger tom's shoulders, the action getting a purr from him and a smile to form across the pretty white face of the queen.

"You're right. I must be patient." He moved swiftly, his paws finding her body and pulling her onto his lap, his lips sucking the soft flesh of her neck as she straddled him there in the middle of his office floor," I'll just occupy myself, keep my mind busy." Macavity spoke huskily into Griddle's fur as his paws moved over the supple rounds of her breasts, which produced an eager moan from the queen as he dragged his paws lower.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mungojerrie was not in a good mood. twice his sister had almost gotten them caught with her giggling. She had been around that Rum Tum Tugger all day and it had turned her into a sissy kitten again. That maned tom was like sexual catnip or something," Come on Teazah, Mac is gonna be pissed off nough as it." He hurried along, pausing to let her catch up.

" Sorrie Jerrie... jus coun't 'elp meself that Tuggah... Evahlastin Cat! Hehehe!" There was that awful giggle again as she rounded the corner with her brother.

"It's about bloody time you two got here. The master is subdued, but you two brats owe me." Griddlebone had intercepted the tiger twins at the entrance of the lair looking very pleased with a skip in her saunter and a breathless husk to her voice.

" Someone got lucky it seems. Eh Griddy?" Jerrie teased the older queen knowing just how she had handled Macavity and visa versa.

" Don't start Mungs. Best be getting your whiskers in there. Both of yas." With that the queen sauntered passed them, her long busy tail running along Mungojerrie's form as she disappeared.

" Wot was ya an she tolkin bout Jerrie?" Asked the rather naive Rumpleteazer.

"Nothin you need to be worrin bout." The tiger tom snapped at his sister ushering her inside Macavity's office. He hated going in first.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She's WHAT?"

Rumpleteazer instantly backed up against the wall and behind her brother cowering in fear. Macavity had never sounded so angry before, he was scaring her. He had never done that before, maybe he was a bad tom... maybe they shouldn't be working for him.

" She's been gittin' chummy wit Munkustrap sor." Mungojerrie said again, he was actually glad to see Demeter get out from under the Hidden Paw's well... paw. He let his attention wander briefly from the ginger tom and glanced to his cowering sister behind him. Poor girl, he had tried to warn her that working for Macavity was not an easy task.

" Hm." Once more the Napoleon of Crime was pacing about his lair's office, he knew that it made the thieving twins nervous, especially Rumpleteazer," I need a plan. I need to stop this and get back what is mine!" He bellowed before a cunning smile slowly lept across his face," Tell me my little striped friends, isn't that stupid nonsense of a ball coming up soon?"

" Aye Gov'ner. Bout two weeks from now." Mungojerrie was quick to reply, he felt personally almost to quick.

" Excellent. I will need your full cooperation with this." The ginger cat smiled, more like a Cheshire cat as he spun his idea to his thieves.

_**End of Chapter Six.**_

_**End of Part One.**_


	7. Chap 7: Fear

**Author's Note: **Only change made to the line-up is that Victoria is now a queen.

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Seven:** Fear

_Morning smiles _

_like the face of a newborn child innocent unknowing _

_Winter's end promises of a long lost friend _

_speaks to me of comfort _

_but I fear _

_I have nothing to give _

_I have so much to lose..._

The Annual Jellicle Ball was over. It had gone almost smoothly, but strange things occurred and uninvited guests seemed to enjoy happening about whenever they thought it fit. In the end both were dealt with, the most unnerving unwanted guest of course being Macavity, his plan had almost worked, but in the end it hadn't been enough to get what he wanted the most. In the end good won over evil. However most of the tribe figured that The Hidden Paw was still out there and of course still wanted and at large.

Demeter and Bombalurina had to stand and watch as their Mother, Grizabella The Glamour Cat became the chosen Jellicle to see the wonders of the Heavyside Lair and Jemima discovered who her Grandmother was and after it was all said and done her quote death took the hardest toll on the kitten, she had felt such a connection to the old once beautiful queen and when she was told who that queen was... it was to late for anything. For everything. With this revelation more resentment began to cloud her mind and heart because of a lot of things she didn't understand and the fact no one, not even her own Mother had tried to explain them to her.

Another cat had watched in the shadows as Grizabella left the world to one day be reborn. Her eldest daughter Griddlebone. Unlike Demeter and Bombalurina, Griddle held no remorse or affection for her mother. It was her fault that she turned out as she had and it hurt her that her two younger sisters didn't even know they had an older sister, or that Jemima and Plato had another aunt. It hurt deep, but there was always Macavity wasn't there? Not really. Deep down Griddlebone knew all she was to her Boss was a whore, a means of curing his boredom and lusts towards Demeter. The one queen he could never have. In a way the white Persian felt sorry for the Hidden Paw, like her his siblings cheating him out of everything. Maybe one day revenge would be theirs... maybe.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Victoria wasn't so sure about this being a queen now business. It was so much different than being just a kitten, in fact it wasn't even fun to be perfectly honest. Time after time the youngest queen found herself staring off towards the kittens, her old friends playing tag or some other game down in the junkyard square. With a sigh, the white cat quickly reminded herself that she had more important things to worry about now like... finding a mate? Yes, that was something to focus on, but who? Who would think she was good enough for them? After all most all the adult cats were basically paired off anyhow weren't they?

" Vicki! Vicki!" Electra looked up at her older sister with a smile, she wanted her to play tag with the rest of the kittens but... Vicki wasn't a kitten anymore, but she could still play with them right? Sometimes Alonzo and Tugger played with them so why couldn't her sister? Electra was now fully committed to unboreding her eldest sister," Come play with us Vicki! Pleeeease!"

Victoria slowly rose a brow, play? With kittens? Could she...," I..." Her pretty blue eyes looked over the group, and she was rather surprised to see Alonzo joining the fray," Sure." The white queen smiled and bounded down to join the game, why had she never noticed Alonzo till now anyways? Hadn't he always played in their games? Well yes, him and Tugger, but who didn't notice Tugger? Alonzo was such a nice tom, especially when he smiled approvingly at her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He had saved her. She had nuzzled him and cleaned his wounds so... what was the hang up? Why weren't they together? But that wasn't his problem now was it? No. It was his brother's problem. Rum Tum Tugger had matters of his own to attend to, such as his current self brought on hiatus from Bombalurina. But in helping his brother snag Demeter couldn't he win brownie points with the red queen? Could be a workable idea, Tugger thought to himself while pacing his about his humans' humble abode.

" Hello son."

" Wha--" Tugger jumped, turned around and looked up to see the large form of his Father peering at him from atop the kitchen counter," Oh hey Pops...you gotta be so freakin sneaky like that? Almost scared what few spots I got off!" With a graceful leap, the mostly black tom settled by his Father on the counter.

"You seemed deep in thought. Something troubling you?" Old Deuteronomy knew exactly what was troubling his middle son, he was having queen troubles which for this particular son was unheard of. Munkustrap had queen troubles not Rum Tum Tugger.

"Well... um... see I screwed up with B-- a queen I really like or well at least I t--"

"Bombalurina. Yes I know all about you two, and all about your as you put it screwing up." Deuteronomy interjected with a knowing smile," Reminds me of someone that was once your age."

Tugger rose a brow, about to ask who it was that he reminded his Father of, but at the last second settled on another question," So... what should I do ? You're all old and wise... I need some Dad advice."

The older maine coon chuckled amusedly at his son for a moment and then took on a thoughtful silence. After a moment or two he spoke," I think you need to talk to her. Stop avoiding her and make the first step."

"That's what I was afraid of you saying..." Tugger sighed," She so difficult though... hard to talk to. And stubborn as hell... she might toss me into next week or grab me and make pas--" The middle son of Old D gave a sheepish grin and shut up very quickly, he was not about to finish such a sentence in front of his Father.

" Sometimes the thing which we need to do is what we fear the most my son." With that the old cat stretched and lept down from the counter," I have a cream date with Gus this afternoon. Such tales he'll spin if I pay, best of luck." With that Deuteronomy excused himself and was gone.

" Right. Thanks... I think." Tugger was not looking forward to what he had to do at all really.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She had taken to being even more alone since the Ball. It had been to much, she never should have gone. She should have known he would have tried what he did. First he took Old Deuteronomy to make the mating ceremony he had planned for her and him official. Then he came back for her, had it not been for Munkustrap and Alonzo, Macavity would have succeeded.

Her world was falling apart now bit by bit. She had begun to ignore everything from food to her own son and even her sister. Demeter spent her days and nights now holed up in the closet, towards the back and in a fortress of blankets. She knew Macavity was angry for his plans being undone and she knew he was probably planning his revenge. Before he had cut the power he had plainly said he would be back, that she would always be his.

"Deme... why don't you come out? It's such a nice day, Plato, Jemi and I were thinking about going on a picnic. Munkus might go too." Bomba was growing close to finding her wits' end with her sister's behavior.

"No... no. You all go on and have fun. I... I'll only endanger you...ju--just leave me-- me alone p--p--please." She was trying so hard not to cry, but it wasn't working at all.

"Come on Demeter. You can't stay in here forever, he isn't always going to be after you!"

" No. Go and leave me be." It had taken some effort, but her words had left in a manner of anger.

Bombalurina stood at the door a moment, the look upon her face a hurt look. Had Deme just snapped at her like that? So she had... someone really needed to reason with that girl, someone stronger than her. Without a sound the red queen turned and left the closet closing the door softly behind her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Is she coming?" Blue eyes met the brown ones of Bomba.

" Nope. Heavyside Munkus she snapped at me. Me! of all people her sister!" Everything was coming to a head now, it was going to drive her nuts and she knew it. All the rejection, the anger, everything that had taken preference over her life right now as threatening her very sanity.

Munkustrap shook his head, his eyes moving sadly towards the door of the closet and back towards the red queen before him," She's been through a lot... let her go for two more days, if she hasn't come out by then... I'll go talk with her." He understood Bombalurina's anger, in fact he was growing angry at the gold queen himself. After what had occurred at the ball he knew he loved her, but did she even care? He was tired of not knowing anymore, he was tired of being lead on.

" Alright. It's only her and I living there now anyhow. Jelly took Plato for good pretty much, Demeter almost attacked the kit when he had asked about his Father." Bomba did her best to hide her tears of pain for her sister, someone in their family had to be brave and she knew that someone was her.

_**End of Chapter Seven**_


	8. Chap 8: Fallen

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Eight: Fallen**

_We all begin with good intent_

_  
Love was raw and young_

_  
We believed that we could change ourselves_

_  
The past could be undone_

_  
But we carry on our backs the burden_

_  
Time always reveals_

_  
The lonely light of morning_

_  
The wound that would not heal..._

He had to do this. He had to talk to her. No other way. No way around it. Damn did he hate his Dad for always being well so right and all the time too. Flowers? Should he take her flowers? Nah. Not his style, he would just bring himself simple as that. But of course seeing her talking to his brother made it a bit difficult... what if Munkus liked her? No. No. He likes Demeter, remember? Right. Just got to get the act together and do this," Hey uh..." Should he still call her his pet name? Why not," Boms can we talk?"

Bombalurina looked quite surprised, even a bit stunned that he was talking to her at all. And he wanted to talk to her, this was something she had not been expecting at all. At first she didn't know what to say, a part of her wanted to say no and tell him right where to stick his tail, but the rest of her wanted to simply say yes," Err... I suppose." Her eyes traveled towards Munkustrap, Jemima and Plato, then solely on Munkus," Handsome you think you could..."

Munkustrap nodded," Sure. You two talk." With that he motioned the curious kittens to follow him for their picnic.

Tugger gave an appreciated nod to his older brother and knowing that he probably owed him for this, which was not a problem at all," Mind if we go somewhere ya know... quiet and private?"

" Here is fine." Bombalurina was not going to do this the way he wanted, for once this was going to be done her way, in front of most everyone else.

Tugger sighed," Fine. I... um wanted to apologize, say sorry and all." He searched her face for any sign of acceptance, but found her fairly unreadable," I'm not good at this stuff Bomba... you know that... you know how I am and well you're," He nervously scratched at his mane," you're the only queen that really puts up with me. Only one that would put up with me for a long haul too."

She almost jumped on him then, almost showered him with kisses and other means of affection, but despite these swelling desires Bombalurina held back," Tugger. I'm sorry to. I expected things from you that well... isn't you."

" Whoa there babes. You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who messed up, all the blame is mine sweetheart." He moved his fidgeting from his mane to playing with his tail, his eyes never leaving hers. A trick he had pulled from watching Munkustrap talk to people, he always seemed to make eye-contact.

" No. I was being overly jealous like you said... but Tugger you're such a free spirit, not the sort of tom anyone even me sees as being tied down to a family let alone just one queen. " Bombalurina gave an almost girlish chuckle," You're a well... a stud."

With that the maine coon couldn't help but boast a wide grin," Well yes I am, but that's besides the point. " Slowly he edged closer to her, taking her paws in his and then dropped to a knee," Point is Boms... I love you and I messed up... I was afraid to love you. Figured I might miss out on something ya know? But anyhow when I told you it was over for good... I well... I realized what I was missing out on was you."

Her brown eyes went wide. Was he actually do this? Was he actually wanting to commit for the long haul as he called it? What was she to say... what was she to do? Everything was going blank on her, she needed to collect her thoughts," I... well... um...oh will you just get up!" She knew most everyone around them in the yard had stopped their own business and were now watching Tugger basically propose to her. For some reason such a knowledge made her smile.

He stood as asked and moved closer to her, his paws cupping her face, massaging the sides of her chin softly," Way I see it." He paused, his lips finding hers for a moment," You and I are so much alike that we need each other." He kissed her again, making it last a little longer this time before pulling back, his lips barely inches from hers," Thing is no matter how much I flirt and play with the hearts of queens... I can't live without one of them. I can't live without you and I don't want to try to anymore. So I wonder, how does she feel? "

She felt her heart literally stopping with each kiss and word, he really loved her... underneath all the flirting and teasing he loved her. In some strange way he was right too, every word he spoke was truth. He was waiting for her to say something now, to reject him or to love him. Her eyes drifted away from his for a moment, the attention of the entire junkyard was upon them, well all those present currently anyhow and this made her feel like teasing him just a little," How do you think she feels Lover boy?" Smirking, Bombalurina moved to slide passed the tom, her bushy tail coming up to tickle his chest as she moved passed him.

Slowly one brow arched, the other not far behind. Was she toying with him? Or was she just in her own way saying yes? He had no idea, but all he knew was she was now his like it or not and visa versa. The only junkyard had witnessed his pledge to her. Eying her tail as it tickled his chest, Tugger snatched the end of it and gently pulled her back towards him, the action gained him a slight hiss and glare from the red queen. Ignoring her annoyed actions, the studly tom dipped his queen into a deep and long kiss," Say it Bomba." he spoke breathlessly, breaking their contact," I'll kiss you again and again till you say the words."

" Mm. That's almost enough to make me not want to say them." the scarlet queen smirked in a snarky manner.

" Say the words and you'll get much more than just endless kisses." He purred the words huskily.

" You got it Lover boy." Bombalurina smirked and took a slow and deep kiss before breaking contact to speak loudly enough for their spectators to hear as well," You are mine and I am yours." She smiled and kissed him again realizing he had said them right along with her.

_**End of Chapter Eight**_


	9. Chap 9: Adia

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Nine: Adia**

_Adia I do believe I failed you _

_Adia I know I let you down _

_don't you know I tried so hard to love you in my way _

_it's easy let it go..._

It was time to get answers. Munkustrap had told her nothing, or really only what he knew which was nothing. She had a right to know didn't she? Yes. And she didn't care how troubled her mother was, despite only being a kitten, Jemima could handle herself easily without any problems," Mother?" No answer, the black and red kitten slowly moved forward," Mom... we need to talk please." Still no answer, the kit felt herself growing impatient," Answer me please."

" Go away. I don't want to hurt you... I don't want him to find you and hurt you." Demeter's voice was barely audible, her throat dry from lack of water and her stomach empty from lack of food. Slowly she rose from her fortress of blankets and adjusted her eyes to look upon her daughter," Please. Leave, ask Jelly or Jenny. Even Old Deuteronomy. They'll tell you what you wish to hear..."

"NO!" Jemima back pedaled, startled by her own voice yelling. She had never yelled till now, till she had felt so confused and lost," Sorry, I didn't mean to yell... but no. I want to hear it from you, my Mother. Please don't I deserve to know?"

Demeter stared long and hard at her daughter. The more she looked at her, the more she realized that she really did not look much like her Father at all really, but more like her, like her mother. She even acted like her too, and had a voice like her Grandmother's," You're right. Are you angry... are you angry at me?"

" I.. well. Yes and no." She moved forward again, settling herself before her mother and looking her over. Her beautiful fur was dirty, and clinging to her very thin frame. She had heard that she was starving herself and doing nothing but sleeping, but Jemima had not expected such a sight like this one," Honestly... I don't know how to feel. A part of me is very hurt and angry, but all in all I just want answers to my questions."

The gold queen nodded. She would feel the same if she was in Jemi's place... funny thing was in a way she had been in her place once. Her own mother had left her and Bombalurina to die basically and then just this last ball had they learned the truth," Okay, what are your questions?"

So she wasn't going to protest? She wasn't going to refuse... the kitten had honestly expected her to, but maybe in answering her questions her Mother figured it might make up for past mistakes, and maybe it would, depending on the answers," I... I wanted to know who my Father is. Let's start with that one."

"Are you sure? You might not like the answer I have to give you Jemima. In fact you probably won't like it at all."

" I understand that the things you'll tell me I might not like Mom, but they are things I need to know. I need my piece of mind." Her eyes pleaded for the answers which her soul desired.

" Okay. I'll make this simple and straight forward, your father is Macavity." Her body gave a cringe like movement at saying the name which had brought her so much pain in life and yet... so much joy as well.

Jemima nodded, " I somehow figured that... I am red and so is he. For a long time I once believed that my Aunt was my Mother... till I saw you."

The queen gave a smile," She would have been a better mother. Better than me."

Jemima shook her head, she felt tears forming behind her large brown eyes," No. I-- I'm glad you're my Mother honestly. But my next question hurts me most of all... why," The tears began to fall," Why did you abandon me? Why did Plato get the joys of being raised by you!" Each word was choked by a sob," It's not fair... I deserve you as much as he does." The kit buried her face in her paws and sobbed.

Demeter did not know what to do. Should she comfort her? Tell her she knew what it felt like to be left behind to not know or be raised by her mother either? Or did she already have that figured out, her daughter was a very smart girl," He.. your Father would have killed you if I hadn't. He wanted a male for an heir, not a female." Speaking the words, Demeter slowly gathered the small frame of her daughter into her arms and gently ran her paw over her mane," I abandoned you because... because I love you and I wanted to save you, I hope you can understand that please."

The words sunk in, each one Jemima absorbed thoughtfully and worked them over in her mind. She had no choice, had her mother not left her she would have died most likely. But couldn't she have stolen away often to see her? It was a lot for the kitten to take in as she let her mother hold and comfort her, it actually felt good for the queen that was her mother to be showing she did care," I understand Mom, I understand." She told Demeter as she felt the queen's own tears begin to fall.

And so they stayed for the longest time, and when Bombalurina finally returned to the place she and her younger sister called home, she was pleasantly surprised to see Mother and Daughter fast asleep in each other's arms.

_**End of Chapter Nine**_


	10. Chap 10: Possession

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Author Warning:** This Chapter contains some brief sexual situations.

**Chapter Ten: Possession **

_Through this world I've stumbled _

_so many times betrayed _

_trying to find an honest word _

_to find the truth enslaved _

_oh you speak to me in riddles _

_and you speak to me in rhymes _

_my body aches to breathe your breath _

_your words keep me alive _

_And I would be the one to hold you down _

_kiss you so hard _

_I'll take your breath away and after, _

_I'd wipe away the tears just close your eyes dear ..._

He was tired of her avoiding him, he was tired of playing the waiting game. He was tired of her practically shunning him and acting like he's not even real. He saved her from her worst fear after all, didn't that mean anything to her? Had it all been for nothing... he had to know and he was going to find out one way or the other. He might be a gentlecat true, but he is just a cat like everyone else and just like any other tom.

It was now or never. He knew Bombalurina wasn't in her closet home, that Demeter was all alone. It was perfect, in there she would have no where to run, no place to hide that he could not find her. He peered into the little closet home through the carefully cut window. There she laid, her eyes closed and her body looking beaten, run down. He had seen this before, the queen's own mother and he refused to let her become another Grizabella. He would not lose her again.

Quietly he moved into the humble abode, his every movement speaking of his strength and abilities. She was sound asleep, her arms around something. This caused Munkustrap to raise a brow, but slowly he lowered it seeing it was Jemima and gave a soft smile before nudging at the kit," Jem?" His voice a very soft whisper, he did not want to wake the golden queen, not yet anyhow.

" Hm?" Jemima's brown orbs slowly fluttered open to find herself staring into the kind blue eyes of the Jellicle Protector," Oh..." Her eyes moved from Munkustrap to Demeter and back again with a nod," Jelly will be wondering about me anyhow."

Carefully, the sliver and black tom helped the kitten remove herself from her mother's protective embrace and watched her as she left with a smile shared between them," I'm sure Jelly knows where you've been, but a small favor. Keep Bomba from coming home for a while, I need to have a long talk with your mother okay."

Jemima nodded, her smile growing," I... I always wanted a Dad like you." With that she disappeared out the door in a flash of black and red.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Munkustrap held back a chuckle as Jemima left, in his heart he knew that both Demeter's kittens adored him and would love nothing more then to call him Dad. He would love nothing more then to let them too, he loved them like they were his own as it was. Only one thing needed to occur to make one happy family, he needed to gain Demeter's trust in him.

Carefully he settled himself next to Demeter exactly how Jemima had been, in the queen's arms. At her touch, Munkustrap began to purr softly and despite himself he nuzzled the petite golden queen until he felt her stiffen and try to push him away. With quick movements he captured her wrists and pulled her against him with a sigh," Be still Deme. I won't hurt you, but we need to talk and you're not going to run from me this time, nor will you hide from me." He looked her in the eyes, eyes full of fear that he knew he could curb if only she'd let him.

She struggled, with all her might she struggled, but in her current state it didn't do much good at all. Defeated she grew still against him, but kept her body from responding to his purr with her own. She couldn't do this, she could get hurt again," Let... let me go please." She was crying now, the salty tears falling down her face and splashing upon the fur of his chest that was too close to her. Much to close in her opinion.

"No. I'm not going to let you go." His grip grew tighter, his arms encircling her frame," We're going to talk Demeter. I'm tired of your avoiding me, treating me like Pollicle shit and even lower. I'm not like Macavity and I don't care how damn long it takes me to make you see that, to make you see that I love you. I love your kits too and they need a father, someone to protect them as well as you." Slowly he bent his head forward and kissed away each tear on her face," I can be that cat Dem, if only you'll let me."

She tried to push away, but every movement she made to get away from him the harder he pulled her against him," Munk... please... I can't do this... I can't..." She was sobbing, her body shivering with fear, with the inner war she constantly fights.

" Yes you can. I'm not Macavity. I'm not going to rape you, try to kill you and cheat you. That's not love. I love you there is a difference." He growl as her face turned from his, he had to show her he was different. With a gentle movement, he nuzzled the side of her face, his purr growing louder as he slowly loosened his hold on her and ran his paws up and down her back. He had to get her to relax, it was the only way.

" Love... hurts. I loved him... Munk. Honestly I did... but he... he" She could just collapse against him, let him hold her, comfort her and make it all okay again. He could never take her scars, but he could end the pain couldn't he? At his nuzzling and gentle caresses, Demeter's purr won out and slowly she let the sound mingle with his," He never said he loved me back..." There she had admitted this to someone else other than her sister.

It hurt him to hear her say that she had actually loved that bastard that is his half brother. It hurt him deeply, but she didn't love him now did she? He had never loved her, all he had felt was lust and now the beautiful queen crying in his arms didn't know the difference between the two," I can love you Dem, but you got to let me. I want to so bad, I want to ease your pain... I want to make him go away and stop haunting your sleep. But I can't if you won't let me." Slowly he worked his paws to her sides and massaged up and down them, this action getting a louder purr from the queen. Taking the louder purr as an okay, Munkustrap began to place featherlight kisses against her neck and collar bone. His paws coming up her arms to remove her studded collar before placing more kisses where it had been.

Her purr deepened, but every where else warning lights flashed and blared red in her. She wanted him to keep going, but parts of her wanted to stop him. His words echoed in her mind, but so did Macavity's words. His words of lust and not Munkustrap's words of love played over and over in her mind. She did not see Munkustrap's gentle blue eyes looking at her either, in her mind she was looking at Macavity's ice blue eyes," No... stop... please I ... I can't do this." She pushed with all her might, her claws digging into the tom cat's fur as she put distance between herself and him," No... all I see is him. I can't... I'm sorry I... I just can't." Turning away from the tiger tom, Demeter drew her legs up against her and sobbed quietly.

Unbelievable. He stared at her in shock, he thought he was getting through... but maybe he had moved to fast. Or... could it be she didn't want him? No. Not again, he wasn't going to put himself through another personal hell watching the queen he loves not be his anymore," Damnit Demeter." His voice hissed both in anger and frustration. She was driving the Sentinel mad, but he doubted she knew that. Advancing forward he used his greater strength to pull her to him, his paw cupping her chin, forcing her to stare at him, to look at him," I love you. What more do you want from me? I'll gladly give you anything you want..."

She bit her lip to keep from crying out as he pulled her roughly to him. Despite his roughness he was still somehow gentle about it. Had this been Macavity and not Munkustrap, her arm would be pouring blood. Instead her lip was as she bit hard enough to draw blood, the metallic taste flowed into her mouth. She couldn't move her head, but she could turn away her eyes, the golden queen found a spot on the wall to her right and stared at it intently not saying anything.

" Look at me. Look at me and see I'm not him Deme." Taking her head in his paws he gently drew her face close to his, close enough to smell the blood on her lip, close enough to taste her tears. His heart slowly began to sink as he watched her glittering hazel eyes grow wide in fright. She was shaking, her trembles speaking the fear instilled in her as well. Damn his half brother, damn him to hell," Ssh. I'm sorry." Carefully he took a rag and wiped the blood from her lip, every flinch making him all the more saddened," Please, don't cry Dem. Don't cry because of me..." After drying her tears, the silver and black tom placed a slow and painful kiss on the golden queen's lips and then turned to leave.

Speechless. She could utter no sound as he took care of her. So gentle, so loving. Why couldn't she just abandon her fears and let him in? Let him love her. She wanted him to, she knew she did. In fact she was beginning to wonder how big of a mistake it had truly been to go off with Macavity. Had she remained with the Jellicles and with Munkustrap her life would be better, as would the life of her kittens. And then she had to watch him walk out and leave her there all alone... again. As soon as she heard the small door close, Demeter threw herself forward and cried herself back into a dreamless and restless slumber.

_**End of Chapter Ten**_


	11. Chap 11: Sad Clown

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Eleven: Sad Clown**

_All the feelings they remain like a still life  
A dying swan song forever lost your cries of glory  
The rain is falling down like silence in a shroud  
When All that really matters left to lose..._

He had tried. But had he tried hard enough? The entire junkyard was a buzz about the public engagement of Tugger and Bomba. At least this got Demeter out of the closet home, but now she wouldn't even look at him. Not that she had really looked at him much before anyhow, but it had been nice to see a stolen glance here and there in his direction... now he just got nothing at all from the golden queen. She also looked more tired and worn he noticed.

" You've sure been staring at her for a while brother." Alonzo settled himself next to Munkustrap, who at first was paying him no mind at all and the black and white tom understood why.

" Hm?" His eyes tore from the golden queen who was talking with a collection of other queens and some kittens as well," Hey Lonz. Haven't seen you in a bit, how's things?"

The younger tom just slowly shook his head," Man. You got it bad. Everlasting Cat do you have it bad my friend." He amused at his serious older brother's sudden demeanor shift and lazily stretched," Still can't believe Tugs is gunna settle down. With Bomba of all queens. Well... I mean I can see it, but not in a Jenny Skimble sense," He gave a side glance to his brother who's blue eyes were back on the only thing noticeable to him in the entire junkyard," Right. Catch you later Day dreamer."

"Oh? Yeah.. seeya..." Maybe Alonzo was right, he did have it and badly, well he had been like this about Demeter for a long time, for as long as he could remember really. With a sigh the Sentinel stood and made his way towards the Old Ford to take his usual post for the remainder of the evening and night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bombalurina shook her head. All this moping around from Munkustrap was seriously putting a cramp in her happiness. Tugger's too. Perhaps it was time for the red queen to have a chat with her sister, a not so nice chat maybe. She was tired of the girl going about avoiding Munkustrap even more so now. Any chance she got, Demeter would sneak back into the closet home and stay there either until the next day or until she was forcefully dragged back out again.

" Something wrong Babe?" Rum Tum Tugger gave his soon to be life-mate a curious glance, something was bugging her and bad. Something told him he knew exactly what it was too.

" Yes. We seriously need to get those two to snap out of it." Bombalurina growled," Most especially my sister. There she goes sneaking off again. Damnable coward." Without another word, the scarlet furred cat moved after the golden queen. if it came to it, that queen was about to get some sense knocked into her older sister style.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Hey Vicki." Alonzo smiled and settled himself next to the young white queen, his mind trying to think up a good conversation topic," Um... so are those real diamonds in your collar?" Oh that was a good pick up line, real smooth. He was worse than Munkustrap.

The snow white queen turned, her blue eyes settling on the rather shy black and white tom curiously, her little pink lips forming a small smile," Yes they are actually." She answered his question nicely," How are things? " She smiled again, her shoulder gently moving to touch his briefly in a rubbing motion.

" Uh...um..." The young tom gulped and scratched the back of his head a moment," Nothing much... I um... I'll see ya around Vic." The youngest son of Old Deuteronomy moved to leave the queen be again only to pause and turn around," Oh by the way uh... I really like your dancing." He smiled and turned back to leave now. it really hadn't been so hard now had it? Not at all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Misto my main magic cat, what's up?" Tugger noticed his little friend was looking a bit sore about something, which was highly unlike the conjuring cat," New trick not working or something?"

" Erm... no not that." The black kitten settled himself in a comfortable position by his maned friend.

" Queen trouble? Or did Cori and Tanti kick you out again?" Tugger arched a brow," Didn't blow something up did ya?"

" Not that I'm aware of... but queen trouble..." The kitten shrugged slightly," Could say that yeah." He felt odd asking Tugger about this, normally he could charm most any queen with his tricks, but for some reason he couldn't think of a good enough trick to impress one in particular.

"So... who is my little buddy after this time?" With Bomba off to sort out her sister, Tugger figured helping out Misto with whatever the problem was could pass the time.

" Jemima." He blurted out, but almost instantly regretted it as he spied a devious gleam in his friend's eyes.

" Nice choice. Very nice indeed, only I'd wait till Demeter is less fragile." Tugger amused, finding it hard to believe that the kittens were growing up so fast," But take it slow Mist, you're both young still so don't rush stuff alright."

Mistoffolees nodded and showed the Tugger a new magic trick in thanks for his advice," I think... I think maybe it's best I be her friend right now huh?" The tuxedoed kitten asked in a slightly rhetorical manner.

Rum Tum Tugger gave an approving nod," Got it right in one kid. Now go play or something, I think I'm gonna catch myself a nap."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door was practically tossed off it's hinges as Bombalurina came stalking into the closet home she shared with her sister. Her red fur stood on ends and every so often a hiss of disgust left her lips," Demeter. I know you're in here and I don't bloody well give a rat's ass if I have to turn the entire closet upside down to find you."

With a sigh, Demeter without protest slowly stuck her head out of her little fortress of blankets and looked at her highly disgruntled sister," You yelled?" The gold queen knew a smart remark would get her no where but into more trouble.

" Damn right I did. So you refused him did you? He said he loves you and you turn him out, push him away." Sharp claws tore the blankets away from the smaller queen," He's not Macavity, Demeter. You need to knock this crap off. "

"That's what he says to me too... but they have the same eyes... I... I can't look at Munk without seeing his half brother. I wish..." Demeter fought her tears as best she could," I wish he'd forget about me... so... so I wouldn't make him hurt anymore." Biting her lip, the queen turned away from her sister, curling into a ball," So I won't hurt anymore." She muttered, but knew that Bomba had heard it anyhow.

"Girl. You're seriously one piece of messed up work ya know that?" The scarlet queen shook her head," If you love Macavity so damned much why didn't you just go back to him hm? Why did you even stick around here?" She knew this was a small part of the root to the problem with her sister.

" I... I don't know. I think I still love him... but I... was it really love?" Her small frame gave a small lurch as the tears fell with sobbing results," I'm so confused. Even more so since--"

" Since?" Bomba's sharp green gaze narrowed ever so slowly," Spit it out girlfriend."

"Since Munk came here yesterday morning... since he tried to show me what love really is like... I... oh Rumpus Bomba... we...we almost mated... right here." Why had she just admitted that? Why had she just told her sister about what had happened? About why she was suddenly paying less attention to Munkustrap more than ever now?

" Ah ha. So that's it. You're scared to love him? Scared to let someone in, afraid it might feel good?" Bombalurina was leering at her sister now," Well little sister? Is that true?" She sported a snide grin," I bet he was taking his time wasn't he? Moving slow and easy, making every touch count, making you become clay in his paws huh?"

Demeter gave her sister a shocked look," Go away. Just go the hell away and leave me alone. I... I... don't need him or you. Go live with your maned lover and let me rot here in my misery. I want nothing more, nothing less." How she hated it when Bomba was right, and in this case she was too right.

"Fine. But I've just got a few more things to tell you missy." The red queen stood tall, paws on hips," One, you best get your tail out of your ass and get off your cloud and let Munk know you do care before he goes off and does something stupid for you. Two, You need us other cats Deme and three remember our Mother and the lesson she taught the whole tribe." Bombalurina slowly cleared her throat and began to sing the words of their mother's song only with a slight twist to them.

_" If you touch him, you'll understand what true love is and a new life will begin." _

_**End of Chapter Eleven**_


	12. Chap 12: Good Enough

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Twelve: Good Enough**

_Hey little girl would you like some candy_

_your momma said that it's OK_

_The door is open come on outside_

_no I can't come out today…_

Rumpelteazer was a bit upset. She hated the fact that Macavity had asked her to spy on Demeter and Munkustrap. She hated that he had threatened her brother's life if she didn't, for once she hadn't told Jerrie about this either... she had kept this a secret. If he knew well... he would most likely get angry and go after their Boss. Not a good idea.

Chewing lightly on her lower lip, Teazer made her way through Macavity's lair and towards his office. She found it unmistakably odd that Griddlebone had not greeted her. Or even one of the stinky rats, in fact it made her a bit nervous. Approaching the door to the Hidden Paw's office, Rumpelteazer paused and rapt her paw on the door.

"Come in."

Obeying the seductive voice, Teazer entered quietly and promptly, standing before her boss," You 'old me ta come an tell ya bout anything going on between yer half brother an' Demeter. " The tabby kitten gave a slight gulp," Well... 'Oi was listenin in on a argument she was havin with her sister, an...an... well she said that they almost mated sor." Rumpel waited, sure that Macavity was going to be outraged at this.

For a moment the ginger cat remained very silent and then he began to pace. He was not happy with this news at all. Would Demeter force him to take drastic measures again? Obviously his last attempt had not instilled the fear in her enough, it seemed he needed to do something that would hurt her forever. But what? Could he hurt her... it would be easy to instill the fear in her, renew it so she would never touch another tom again. After all if he couldn't have her willingly why should any other cat get that chance?

Rumpelteazer watched the expressions closely that passed over her master's face. Each one made her highly uneasy... each one made the fur on the back of her neck beneath her collar bristle with fear," Should... 'Oi go?" The tiger tabby tried her best to sound brave, but she knew that Macavity was plotting something terrible to do to her friend... and it would be all her fault.

" You may leave. But tell Griddle I desire her presence." Macavity smiled darkly, he knew what needed to be done.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Mungo! Mungo!" Rumpelteazer was running faster than she ever had in her life. Something bad was going to happen and soon, she knew it and she knew she had to tell someone. That someone was Mungojerrie.

" Wot? Wot's wrong Teazah?" Her twin brother scooped her up into his arms once she had made it to the grounds of Victoria Grove and tried to steady his trembling and wide-eyed twin.

" 'e's..." She took a gasping breath," 'e's... had me spyin on her--- Demeter. He knows bout Munk gittin close to 'er." She spat out tears clouding her eyes," 'Oi done a bad thin Mungo... 'Oi've sold 'er out to Macavity... Oh Heavyside wot am 'Oi to do?"

" Well..um..." Now he was worried and scared. They obviously had to do the unthinkable... they had to tell the rest of the Jellicles the truth, they had to betray Macavity to save their friend," We 'ave to tell'em Teazah. Do 'ou know wot he was plann?"

Teazer shook her head sadly," Notta a thin' Mungo... not a thin'."

"Bugger to Heavyside..." Mungojerrie mumbled as he headed out towards the junkyard, his sister in tow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bombalurina was all excited, she was officially going to be mated to someone soon and if anything tried to stop the event from happening well they wouldn't make it very far. Even Macavity had better not try anything, her own sister was even banned until she could get a hold of herself, which had not set to well with the queen in question but Bomba cared not how much that girl sniffled and pleaded.

" Hiyas Babes. How's tricks?" Rum Tum Tugger gave a quick side long glance at the wavering form in one corner which was his soon-to-be mate's sister and shook his head glancing back to his red queen," Mind if we--"

" I'll leave... I need some fresh air anyhow. " Demeter stood and moved towards the door," Gotta start looking for a place of my own anyhow," Her eyes which had come close to losing their luster of life glanced towards Bombalurina," Don't want to upset happiness for those who can have it." She almost snapped and was gone, hissing slightly as she brushed against Tugger on accident.

"Damn. What ruffed her fur?" The maine coon glanced from the door to Bomba with a curious stare.

" Really want to know?" The red queen sighed, her paws coming up to caress the cheeks of her lover," Nevermind that. I know you do." Tiredly she slumped against the larger tom," Your brother, seems he tried to romance her the other day and well... it didn't work out like it should have because as he told me all she saw was Macavity."

Tugger snorted," Well maybe he tried to hard like he does with everything? She'll come around on her own... someday."

Again the scarlet queen gave a sigh," I hope so Tugs. I hope so... for all our sakes."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Watch the yard. Just watch the yard. Don't think about her, you have no chance. No chance at all. She doesn't want you, doesn't love you. All she thinks and worries about is Macavity. Maybe she still loved the fiend. But honestly how could she after all the stuff and evil he had put her through how could she? How could she not love me, Munkustrap thought to himself as the stars of the sky twinkled above him, but in the distance per usual lately storm clouds were rolling in with a threatening manner about them.

"Don't you ever sleep?" Came a sultry tone behind the silver tabby.

" Um...sometimes?" He turned, his blue eyes falling on none other than Bombalurina," Shouldn't you be sleeping? Big day for you tomorrow." He commented, his tone rather proud of both cats' decisions to be serious.

" Yeah... but I can't sleep so figured I'd grace you with my lovely presence." With that Bomba settled herself down next to the large tom," So... how much do you like my sister?"

" I'd die for her." Munkustrap answered quickly and very truthfully," Anything at all I'd do it for her... but I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to make her feel pain or fear." He sighed.

For a moment, Bomba remained silent. She knew fathomed that love could run so deep. Even as much as she was certain that she and Tugger loved each other it was not that deep nor profound. The red cat marveled at such and then finally spoke," You're too good. Really Munkus. You should tell her you love her... don't give up. Honestly Handsome you don't strike me as the sort who does... give up."

He gave a bit of a chuckle and nodded," I would suppose not. But then again we all wear masks at some point don't we Bomba?" He smiled, all to knowingly and resumed looking out over the yard as a crash of thunder sounded in the distance, but close none the less.

The green eyed cat glared a moment at her soon to be brother-in-law," Oh? And just what do you mean by that?" Her glare deepened slowly.

" The fact that for a long time you and my knucklehead of a brother were to stubborn to admit you loved each other enough to settle down." Munkustrap felt a gloating sensation work over him as he was actually ruffling Bombalurina's fur a little. It was rather an amusing task," And don't lie. I know it's true, you both are too much alike."

He had her there, she couldn't deny it at all and with a sheepish and rather disgruntle nod she admitted truth," Yup. Got it in one Sentinel. However stop changing the sub--" A scream? Had she just heard a scream, but from where? And whom?

" I heard it too. Come on, it came from Jelly's." With that the protector of the Jellicles bounded off in said direction.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" She's gone... I just happened to go by her room and... and she wasn't there. And... and..." Jellylorum fell into a sobbing mess, unable to say another word as most of the tribe began to gather either in or around her place. Jemima was gone.

" Blood. Oh Everlasting Cat, there's blood on her blankets." Munkustrap spoke with a hollow voice, he had a very good idea who had done this. but why? Why Jemima... what did she have to do with Demeter and his Half Brother's lusts for the golden queen? However he was sure his question was about to be answered as said queen entered the room, her hazel eyes wide with anger and fright.

" That son of a pollicle! I'll kill him! How dare he! How did he find out!" She was in full hysteria. Her fur wet from the rain that had now begun to fall outside, her eyes wild and her claws unsheathed and ready for action," Someone told him. I bet I know who." Her eyes moved slowly, like a cat on the prowl until they fell on Rumpelteazer," You told him didn't you... didn't you!" As she readied herself to launch forward and attack Teazer, a pair of strong paws came around her own and the silver tabby stepped directly in her way," Let me go Munkustrap. Now! She'll die for this!"

He held her paws tightly as she struggled, almost getting free, but at that moment Munk took it as an open chance to full restrain the golden queen in his arms and try to calm her. What was she going on about anyhow? Obviously there was something Demeter hadn't mentioned to him at least, but from the looks on everyone else's faces they all knew," What's going on?" By now the queen in his arms was more of a sobbing mess than Jelly and it hit him," Macavity... he didn't know about Jemima did he..." And now anger began to settle in, how could Demeter have been so stupid?

" No. He didn't... I... figured it would be safer for her, if he didn't." The golden queen spoke calmly despite her current state. She had finally stopped fighting Munkustrap having grown weary in doing so and was now held helplessly in his arms," But he's found out. Someone told him." Her eyes fell on Rumpelteazer who had been now joined by Mungojerrie," Traitors." She hissed at both of them and once again tried to leap forward, but didn't get very far at all.

" Teazer. Mungo. Can I speak with you two alone for a moment." Munkustrap looked down to Demeter and sighed," I'm going to let you go now. But if you try to leave or jump at anyone Tugger and Alonzo will restrain you understand?"

Defeated Demeter nodded as she was let go and sank to the floor with a sob, her eyes locking on the blankets stained with blood. She feared the worse, that her first born, her daughter was dead. Killed by her own Father.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" 'Oi promise Gov'ner I didn't squeal nothin bout Jemma to Mac." Mungojerrie pleaded, his eyes glancing over to Rumpelteazer who was rather quiet," Come on Teazah, tell'im!"

Rumpelteazer stood very still, her eyes wide. What had she done? Why hadn't she told Munkustrap about everything. She looked from her brother to the Sentinel and back again then slowly swallowed," Um.. Jerrie... 'ou don't mind if 'Oi speak to Munkie 'lone do ya?"

Mungojerrie quirked a brow at his sister and then looked from her to the silver tabby and back again," Oll right." He said with a defeated huff and stepped back inside the door of Jelly's place to wait.

"Well?" Munkustrap gave the kitten a curious stare, his paws coming to fold against his chest," You know something don't you Rumpelteazer?"

She stayed very silent for a few moments, working out exactly how to say and tell Munkustrap what she knew. It wasn't going to be easy and she didn't want to get into trouble but... she figured if she didn't tell she'd get into a lot more trouble than if she did. Clearing her throat, Rumpel began her tale with a nervous tone," Well... 'ou know 'ow Jerrie and 'Oi worked fer Mac for a while... weell he threatened me that if 'Oi didn't spy on Deme he'd kill me brother... and uh most likely moi too. But 'Oi know fer a fact 'Oi ain't the only cat he's been usin' ferra spy. He's olso been sendin' Griddle ta spy too." Eyes fell groundward as she awaited the Sentinel to pass his judgment.

He could understand where she was coming from, He knew that she was afraid he'd kick her out of the tribe for such antics. However she is just a kitten and was blackmailed," You do realize the danger you've put not only yourself, Mungojerrie and Demeter in, also effects the entire tribe don't you?"

Meekly Rumpelteazer nodded," Yes sor." Her tone was close to a sob.

" Next time tell me. Or Alonzo, or even Tugger should something like this arise again." Munkustrap commented with an air of leadership.

" Will do gov'ner." Rumpel replied, giving the human boyscout two finger salute.

" Alright. Lets go back inside and get ready to go and rescue Jemima."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slowly her hazel eyes fluttered, and a mew left her lips. Something wasn't right, and the little kitten known as Jemima was quite aware of this. She was not at home, she was not even within the Junkyard. All the sounds and smells she knew were gone, and yet this place smelled familiar somehow.

" Oh good your awake." Purred the voice of GriddleBone towards the kit laying amongst the various colored blankets.

" Where am I? And who are you?" Jemima questioned, finding the white cat before her rather pretty and also familiar.

" You are in Macavity's lair m'dear. And who am I?" Griddle smirked," I am your Auntie Griddlebone."

" My what!"

" Aunt. Yes, I am you mother's sister, as well as Bombalurina's. Older sister that is. " Griddlebone smiled slowly," My, my how much you look like your Daddy and Momma."

A part of the white cat was beginning to feel sorry for the kitten, she didn't know what Macavity had in store for the child... but he had no heart, even for his own fur and blood. Maybe just this once she could---

" Aah. My child." Macavity smiled softly entering the room, his eyes focused intently upon his unknown daughter," Did you sleep well? "

Jemima stared at the cat which was her Father, instantly fear welled up inside her and she pressed back against the wall, fur standing on end with a hiss," Go away!" Another hiss and she bared her little claws and teeth ready for a fight.

Macavity laughed, the sound empty and it echoed through the room," Such a spirit you have. Just like your Mother's. But I broke her too. Now," He held out his paws to the kitten, motioning for her to come to him," don't you have a hug for your Father?"

"No. I don't. I want to go home!" Tears slowly rolled down the small face, wetting her fur slightly as she pressed more against the wall, her eyes wide with terror looking towards Griddlebone as if to say help me.

" Hellsakes Maccie, she's just a kit. Why don't ya jus' let'er go? can't ya see she's scared?" Griddlebone could not take anymore of this, as she stepped between Father and Daughter, hands on her very curvy curve of her hips.

" You dare to defy me?" The Ginger cat was amused, but he still pressed to stare the queen before him down," Are you going soft on me Griddle?" His tone became a low growl, daring her to stay as she was.

" I ain't gone soft. Jus' I know what it's like to be scared, it ain't much fun dahlin. Surely you can get to Demeter another way?" She was trying, she was risking her neck for her niece," Ya look rough, we could let'er go an go have some fun. You and I Maccie baby." Griddlebone purred, swishing her tail under his nose," Come on, what do ya say?"

Macavity smirked, but his smirk was a dangerous one as he looked from Griddlebone then to Jemima and back," How sweet. You're trying to help your darling niece." With this ending on a sour note for a tone, the Napoleon of Crime took a hold of Griddle's tail and gave it a sharp tug," Now listen here you little whore. You will do as I say and watch the kit, keep her happy. Give her whatever she wants, but," Macavity then slapped the White queen hard across the face with claws extended," DON'T LET HER ESCAPE OR YOUR FUR IS MINE!" With that he left, slamming the door behind him.

Griddlebone flew across the room and hit the wall with a sickening thud. Jemima didn't dare go near her for fear the cat was dead, but upon hearing a grown from the queen, the kitten slowly approached her and gave a tiny lick to her face," Are... are you...you okay?" She asked, shaking in fear.

Slowly Griddlebone rolled onto her back and gave a weak smile," Sure thing kid." Eyes of blue drifted to the door a moment to make sure Macavity wasn't coming back," So, you wanna get outta here Jemi?" If it was the last thing she did, she was going to make sure the kitten got back to her sister safe and sound.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" I'm going! You can't stop me! She's my daughter damn you! Damn all of you!" Demeter struggled fiercely against the arms of both Alonzo and Tugger who were holding her back from accompanying the rescue party of Bombalurina, Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer and Misto with Munkustrap as the leader (naturally)," Let me go!"

"Sorry girlie. No chance. You heard the Big guy's orders. You're stayin an' we are making sure you're stayin." Tugger remarked, not much liking the idea of staying behind himself, but duty called and he was actually answering for once. Of course though a lot of said answering the call had to do with the evil glare given to him by his queen-to-be, a sign that he had better do as asked.

Demeter watched the group with a cold stare, every inch of her fur standing on end. Let them go, and she would wait and slip out and return to the nightmare she left several months ago. She knew exactly why Macavity had their daughter… and it was to get at her and of course to get her to come back to him. Slowly her eyes softened for a moment as they fell on Munkustrap; she wanted to tell him all he had longed to hear from her, but she knew if she did he would grow suspicious and then her plan would never work and so instead she kept ever silent and watched as the rescue party left, biding her time until Tugger got bored.

**_End of Chapter Twelve_**


	13. Chap 13: Vox

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Thirteen: Vox**

_Through your eyes the strains of battle like a brooding storm_

_Your up and down these pristine velvet walls like focus never forms_

_My wake is getting wider and my eyes are drawn astray_

_Near you now a vague deception of a dying day…_

" So are you going to talk or anything? " Tugger asked impatiently of the petite gold queen, " Or do you enjoy sitting there and glaring at me?"

" Neither." She remarked coolly and marched over to her pile of blankets, " I'm going to get some sleep. This is all taking too long and my nerves are running short." Her tone was angered and hurt.

Tugger nodded slowly, watching as Demeter made herself comfortable within the cocoon of her blankets, " I'll grant ya some privacy and step outside if ya need anythin'." He waited a moment, expecting a response, but got none. Shrugging his shoulders, the maned tom quietly exited the closet home of his so-to-be mate and her sister, his lanky frame slouching against it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile within Macavity's lair, the Hidden Paw was pacing, afraid he his plan wouldn't work, afraid that all his scheming, all his well thought out moves had been a sheer waste of time. Maybe he should have just napped Demeter herself, but that wouldn't break her enough and this would, he was sure of it.

He knew most would call him cruel, to make his own daughter, his own fur and blood go through an ordeal like this, but they just didn't understand, they never would. He had to have her, she was his and his alone and if he couldn't have her then no one could… not even their children. She would be his and his alone.

Stepping to the door of his "office" Macavity peered out and smiled spotting one of his hench cats, " Paradox."

The black and brown cat looked to his leader and saluted him, " Yes sir?"

" Go and bring Griddlebone to me please. I want a report of progress on the child." Macavity's smile was gone as quick as it came," Get going. Double time." He ordered and Paradox quickly disappeared in a most sneaky manner.

Macavity returned to his pacing once more and waited, which he did not have to do long. The door to his office opened and there stood the white Persian queen, a paw settled on one of her curvaceous hips, " That was quick." He remarked, to which he saw her smirk a bit, " How are you fairing with our young guest?" He stood still, anxious to hear her report.

" It goes well enough sugar. I've got'er believing I'm going to help her escape. Poor dear, so naïve." Griddlebone amused with a purr, " She'll never know until you "catch" us attempting to escape." As she spoke, the fluffy white cat had changed her position in the room to right before her master and lover, " Should I return to the kitten?" She asked, her voice becoming thick and sultry, " Or should I delay my return."

Macavity rolled his eyes and pushed the queen away with a hint of disgust, " Go back and complete your task my pet. We haven't time for fooling around." He sneered as she gave him a pout and brought herself up off the floor.

" Fine. I know I'll be yesterday's news once that bitch gets back in your lair." With that Griddlebone turned to leave, but instead got dragged back into the room and thrown against the wall.

" Don't you ever disgrace her again." His paw came across the perfect white face of the Persian, claws out, " I should kill you for that remark, but I think I'll let you live with the knowledge that you are just…" he grinned darkly, licking her blood from his claws, "second best."

Without a word, Griddlebone stood and left the room, returning to her duty, her mind now torn over doing as originally planned, or actually helping the kitten to escape after all.

------------------- ------------------ ---------------

Demeter waited, silent and with eyes closed. She listened to the door open and shut and the small creak of protest as Tugger's frame leaned against the closet outside. Slowly she opened her eyes, his shadow visible through the small cut-out window, his head was bent slightly and she knew he had dozed off. Sighing in relief the golden queen stood and slipped out the secret entrance that only she and Bomba knew about and headed off into the night, towards Macavity's lair.

It didn't take her long, she knew all the shortcuts, and the best ones to take. For a moment she paused, her hazel eyes lifted slowly taking in the abandoned warehouse which had been dubbed the Napoleon of Crime's lair long ago. Squaring her shoulders, the black and gold queen slowly entered the spooky building, her internal fears making her shake.

----------------- ------------- ----------- -------

" Sir!" Paradox came busting into his Leader's office, almost breathless with anticipation," Sir! She's been spotted! Going in the southern entrance."

At first Macavity had been annoyed at the sudden interruption from his guard, but the news he shared quickly diminished the annoyance as he smiled, " Very good. Give Griddlebone the signal then. " He watched his guard nod and leave, a smile of pure evil and satisfaction lit across his face, " Let the games begin."

-------- ------------------ ----------------- ---------------------

The silver tabby brought the rescue party to a halt. His nose sniffing frantically at the air, it was stale, cold and unwelcoming… and there was a familiar scent mixed in with it, " Bomba. I need you to return to the Junkyard, check on your sister and Tugger. Hurry."

The scarlet queen didn't ask questions, but turned and took off as told, her mind alive with questions of course, but somehow she figured that Demeter had slipped passed Tugger somehow and was now at Macavity's lair, or close to it. Part of her wanted to turn back and go inside the lair and find out for herself, but she knew Munkustrap wouldn't let any harm come to her sister… but still she worried for all of them.

It didn't take her long to reach the Junkyard, and to find that Tugger had drifted off outside of the closet home, " Rum Tum Tugger. You idiot!" Her paw swept across his face, instantly causing the tom to wake and hold his left cheek.

" Wha… what in Heavyside was that for?" He asked, rubbing his sore cheek, " And what are… wait… bugger." Turning he quickly threw open the door of the closet and looked inside, " Demeter? Dems? Deme?" There was no answer, " Um… mebbe she's asleep?"

" I doubt it." Bombalurina remarked coldly and crept to the pile of blankets in the corner, tossing each one aside till nothing but the bare floor was left, " Damnit!"

" She didn't… did she?" Tugger was mad at himself now, mostly for letting himself get tricked like he had.

" She did. Where else would she go?" The red feline exclaimed and grabbed Tugger's much larger paw dragging him with her," We've got to hurry back to his lair. They're going to need all the help they can get now. I just hope… I just hope she doesn't do anything stupid." Bomba held back her tears, her words almost swallowed in a choke of emotion within her throat.

" Don't worry Babe. We'll find'em both and everything will be okay." Tugger tried to assure his queen in a soft tone.

" I hope so. I really hope so."

--------------------- --------------------------- ------------------------- --------------------------

She had been given the signal, but still she fought with herself. Go with the plan, or defy it. Her icy gaze drifted to the scared kit huddling in the corner of the cell, her fur which held markings similar to both her parents shaking from fear and the damp coldness. With a sigh Griddlebone stepped over to the princess and gently place a paw on her shoulder, " Come it's time to go m'dear."

Jemima slowly raised her head and with a sniffle nodded, " 'Kay. " She was going to trust this queen who claimed to be another aunt, she would go with her, hoping that she could escape and return to the tribe and to her mother and little brother.

" Now listen carefully. You must do as I say or you will get lost. Understand?" Griddlebone waited for a nod or a timid yes from the girl, after a moment she got both," This is how you get out." She began leading the kit to the door and out it, " Go right from here, keep going right until you reach the machinery room, enter it and there is a window there which is broken, slip out it and you'll be home free." She gave the black and red girl a push in the right direction.

" But… what about you Grid--- Aunt ?" Jemima looked to the queen with shining large eyes.

The Persian sighed heavily, " I can't go with you, someone has to distract your captor y'know love." She smiled sadly, " Plus… your home ain't a place for me. I wouldn't be accepted so well… I'm a bad cat." With that Griddlebone turned and walked in the other direction, " Good luck kid."

For a moment Jemima stood very still and watched until the white cat turned a corner and was out of view, she then bounded off in the direction she was told not knowing that it was all a trap… that her Aunt had chosen to not defile her master after all.

" I'm sorry kid… truly sorry." Griddle whispered to the shadows and walked slowly into Macavity's lair, " It's begun." She spoke with a sadness in her eyes and sat down in a ragged chair which had once been a shoe and waited, thinking of a way to still make this turn out for the better in the end.

"Very good Griddle. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me. " His paw came to trail along her side, the action of course getting a purr from the feline who had always turned to clay so easily for him.

_**End of Chapter 13**_


	14. Chap 14: Time

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Author Warning: **This chapter contains implications of violent sex, rape and slight torture.

**Chapter 14: Time **

_You have me _

_to hold me a token for all to see, captured to be yours alone_

_And I need just a little more silence, and I just need a little more time_

_The courage to pull away_

_there will be hell to pay_

_the deeper you cut to the bone…_

" Let me go!" Came a familiar voice screaming across the walls.

Macavity grinned, as he left Griddlebone to bask in the corner of his office and waited patiently, for the prize had been found, " Bring her in boys." He shouted to the door, delight on his face, cruel delight.

In the trio came, Demeter fighting as hard as she could, her body worn, her coat dirty and her eyes not quite so full of life and spitfire, " I was coming here willingly. You didn't have to make your goons apprehend me." She spoke with a venom laced tone however, and she watched as this brought a smirk to Macavity's face.

" So I see you're still the same. But it seems you've let yourself go love. Taking after your dear departed mother?" He asked with a gleeful way about his words, " Drop her." He ordered.

With a yowl Demeter hit the stone cold floor and glared up at her captor, " Where is she?"

" Where is whom Demeter dearest?" Macavity asked sadistically, for this was all a game to him, one he planned to win.

" My daughter you son of a bitch!" She was on her feet now, her body moving with speed towards Macavity, claws at the ready.

" So feisty. " He caught her easily, twisting her arms into an uncomfortable position, " Now that I have your attention why don't you come with me you little liar." He breathed in her ear, " You know it was rather harsh of you to hide our daughter from me. I would have liked to have known her, but no you were selfish." He dug his claws into her fur and flesh.

" I was protecting her… from you. " The golden queen hissed the words in pain as his claws went deeper, " You would have killed her. You only wanted a son. A male heir." She admitted while being towed down the hall to where she didn't know, hopefully to Jemima.

" I'm hurt that you didn't trust me Demeter, isn't that what love is about? Trust." He was taunting her, playing with her as he used too before she ran from him. Her mind and her resolve would lie broken soon.

" You don't know what love is. The devil cannot love for he has no heart." She spoke defiantly, her body twisting in rage against him, but with each movement his claws grew deeper in her arms and she began to feel the stickiness of blood matting her fur.

He ignored her feeble attempts to rile him, and paused a moment, " Ah. Here we are." He let her go briefly, opening the door and shoving her inside, and closed the door behind him, " She's in here somewhere." He grew more delighted with his game as terror broke across his beloved face.

" You monster… she's your daughter… why, why would you put her in this room… why?" She knew this room, Macavity used it as a means for torture to his prisoners and victims. He had even used some of his devices on her, " Jemima!" Demeter cried out, " Jemmie! Answer me please!" She called out.

" Momma…" Came a whispered answer," Momma help me…"

Demeter followed the voice, a scream breaking the deathly silence of the air as she came upon her daughter's location within the horrorific room.

----------- ------------------ ------------------- ------------------ -------------

Munkustrap shuddered, he knew that scream and he followed it not caring if anyone was able to keep up or not. Was the mad cat torturing her? Or worse… was he defiling her or killing her? He couldn't think, he knew he had to get to her and find her. He turned a corner and picked up the scents of them both, a door lay on his right and he quickly forced it open, not stopping to see if it was locked or not, " Macavity! Macavity you son of a pollicle are you in here!" He growled, his tone dark, full of driving hate.

" No… no. He's gone." Griddlebone tried her best to stand… her body was sore, aching. He had been to rough, to forceful this time, blood matted the fur of her inner tights and there was even some bruises beginning to form on her arms and face, " He took… he took her." She felt faint, and cold.

" Where? Where did he take her! Answer me!" Munkustrap didn't care if the queen was in pain, he put her in more pain if she didn't help me, " Please…" He said realizing that he was acting no better than his half brother, " Please help me find her. Show me."

Griddlebone nodded slowly, her senses coming back in a slow fashion, " Yes. Yes. I'll show… you. Come." The Persian turned and motioned for the tabby to follow her down the hall. She was tired of being used and abused by Macavity and even if it killed her she would stop him from doing harm to Demeter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

They were both out of breath by the time they reached the others. Bombalurina was in the lead with her tom close at her heels, she had always been faster.

The red queen skidded to a halt, her green stare falling on Alonzo, " Where'd Munkus go?"

The white and black tomcat shrugged, " Don't know. We were all going along and then we heard a scream… and bam! He had disappeared just like that."

" Yup. That's wot 'appened." The two multi-stripped tabby cats spoke in unison, backing up Alonzo's story.

" Any idea at all which direction he headed?" Tugger chimed in once he had caught his breath, " Man… I need to get back in shape." He muttered, granting his mate to a glare.

" Well if you wouldn't groom so much---"

" Save it for later you two." Alonzo quickly interrupted Bombalurina before the red cat could get her smart remark full stated, " I think he took off to the left here."

" Oi gots an idear, if 'ou oll wanna hear it."

" Go ahead Teazer." Bombalurina encouraged.

" Well.. Oi was thinkin'… mebbe we oughta split up? 'ou an' Tuggah could go left an' we t'ree could go roght?" She offered, " That way someone's gotta run inta ol'Stripes."

" Not a bad idea. Not at all. And if anyone has and trouble remember the signal." Alonzo, who took charge in his elder brother's absence even if he was the youngest, and honestly Tugger didn't mind at all.

" Alright Captain." Tugger smartly saluted, which earned him a sharp yank on his tail from Bomba, " Seesh babe. Not so rough."

" Well quit smarting and come on and I won't be so rough." She remarked coldly and headed off to the right as planned, Tugger once again bringing up the rear, not that he minded much.

-------------------- -------------- ---------------

" Ah. So you found her." Macavity clapped his paws together, " And you found her in my latest device. You see the more she struggles the smaller the box gets." He watched amused as his daughter struggled in the confined space which was shrinking by the very second.

" You sick bastard son of a---"

His paw came across her face, claws drawn and leaving a harsh streak of red in it's wake, " I will have no more insults my sweet. For you see her life is in your paws. Upset me, defy me, do anything or say anything I don't like and she dies. Suffocated like a rat in a jar." He took her chin and sharply pulled Demeter to him, " Understand?"

She nodded, holding back the tears of pain, holding back the desire to try and tear the Hidden Paw limb from limb, " What will get her free?" She asked boldly and cringed as he smiled.

" I think you know that answer Demeter." His other paw coming to rest at the small of her back, pushing her body against his, " You know what I want." His paw traveled lower, caressing the roundness of her behind, over the extension of her tail and up her side, his face close enough for him to breathe in her breath.

Her body shuddered, but not in any amount of pleasure. She felt dirty, used, like a simple whore once again… but if she didn't grant him his desires fulfilled then… Jemima would die, " Yes… just stop hurting her… anything you want…"

Macavity grinned, " What was that? Speak louder my dear."

"Yes." She said a little louder, her tone defeated.

" Louder." His eyes traveled towards the box which held his daughter, a sadistic smile in his eyes.

" Yes." Demeter cried, a sob escaping with the word.

" Uh-uh. That's not what I want to hear…" He drew the paw that had been holding her chin away and down her neck, gripping it slightly, but with enough force to make the queen gasp in fright," Say the right words my darling."

Tears flooded from her eyes, her body shook as she sobbed, her resolve breaking piece by piece, "You are… mine…" she choked out

" and ?" He grinned, his breath becoming heavy and baited.

" I… I…" She looked away from him, her head falling towards her chest, " I… am… yours." She barely had the last word out before she found herself slammed up against the wall, the action knocking the air from her lungs as he pushed her knees apart and placed himself between them.

" And now I will make you mine again, mine forever." He growl and forced his lips against hers hard enough to make them swell and bruise instantly. He was drivingly aroused by the fact the kitten was being literally forced to watch him defile and break her mother into pieces.

_**End of Chapter Fourteen**_


	15. Chap 15: The Path of Thorns

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Author Warning: **This chapter contains a small scenes dealing with rape, and violence.

**Chapter Fifteen: The Path of Thorns **

_Through the years I've grown to love you  
Though your commitment to most would offend  
But I stuck by you holding on with my foolish pride  
Waiting for you to give in...  
You never really tried or so it seems  
I've had more than myself to blame  
I've had enough of trying everything  
And this time it is the end..._

She led him diligently, her pains and aches fading, or perhaps her anger, her betrayal simply blinded her from it all. She wasn't sure, but this was not a time to think about herself for once, this was a time to for once paint away the yellow stripe that has called her spine home for many years, but hopefully no one expected this sudden change of heart to last… because it would not.

Taking a moment to glance behind her, Griddlebone beheld a look in the Tabby's eyes that was familiar. Both of them had striking blue eyes, but Munkustrap's were kinder, even full of anger and rage as they were now, they were still soft and gentle, " Don't worry dahlin. We're almost there. I promise." And for once it was a true promise.

He believed her. Despite all the bad things he knew and has heard, he truly believed her. Perhaps it was the tone she was using, or the fact she also seemed afraid and yet… somehow fearless, but she gave him hope, " I can't help it… I love her." He verbally admitted to a cat he didn't really even know.

She smiled, she knew this just by his vigor to find Demeter, she knew this tom truly loved the tortured queen and it made her sad inside… why couldn't Macavity just forget the petite golden cat and love her instead… for Griddle assumed she loved him in some twisted way, but she realized how obvious it was… the Hidden Paw didn't know what love actually was. To him love was sex, obsession, power and lust, and on realizing this, Griddlebone began to actually fear for her sister's very life and the life of the kit as well.

--------------------------------------- ------------- -------------------- ------------------

If only she could tear her eyes from the scene before her… but it was as if a pair of invisible hand were keeping her head from turning and her eyes from closing. And so she sat there, the box which had been growing smaller which each movement she made or breath she took now returned to a comfortable size, she curled in a corner of it, as it swung above her mother and the insane ginger cat who was doing disgusting things to her beloved mother and all she could do was watch… no sound would leave her lips, for even if she tried she could not make a sound, it was as if her body had ceased working, except all she could do was breathe.

She watched, eyes wide as he pressed harder against her mother, squeezing the gold and black furred queen more against the wall. By now she had noticed that her mother's eyes had fluttered shut and she had fallen limp against Macavity… her father. Was she dead? Jemima's heart prayed to the Everlasting Cat that someone… anyone would save her Mother and herself soon… before he did kill her or perhaps even both of them.

----------- -------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------

Bombalurina was growing ever frantic. Macavity's lair had more twists and turns than his last had. But still on she pressed, her body screaming at her to stop, take a break. But she ignored any and all protests and began to run faster, not even glancing behind her to see if Tugger was keeping up… which he was but barely.

They turned a corner, and the red queen found herself screeching to a halt, her body colliding still with a fluffy white Persian, " Out of my wa—Munkus?" She eyed the tall silver tabby just to the left of the white queen she had ran into, " Who the hell is this ?" Bomba motioned to the Persian as they both picked themselves up, the white queen slower at the process.

" I'm Griddlebone." She answered smartly for herself, " I'm helping your Sentinel to find his Queen."

Bombalurina had opened her mouth to sling an insult, but quickly shut it and looked to Tugger who was bent over huffing and puffing, " Well then we'll just join your little brigade. Won't we."

" Tell ya what I'll keep watch and make sure none of Mac's goons bother your bunch and I'll keep an eye for the other three." Tugger almost too quickly offered, for he was getting tired of trying to keep up with the red queen.

In light of the situation, Munkustrap had to snicker at his younger brother, " You sure you want to officially be mated to her? She might kill you in bed." Of course this got a the childish reaction of Tugger sticking his tongue out at the Silver Tabby.

" Enough. We need to hurry… no telling what he's done… or will do to her or the kitten." Griddlebone's words brought seriousness back to the front burner and her, Bomba and Munkus took off down the hallway, leaving Tugger behind to do as he had offered to do.

The turned corner after corner, went down hallway after hallway. The place seemed to go on forever like a labyrinth. The three cats were tiring, but Munkustrap kept pushing himself harder and faster, he almost got a head of Griddlebone, who was leading them in the right direction… he hoped. But somehow he felt she was, somehow he trusted her.

" Here. Inside. Quickly." Griddlebone had stopped their precession, they were now before the door that would let them into Macavity's world of torture. The white queen didn't show it… but she was scared for no sounds were coming from beyond the door and the air smelt to the Heavyside Lair of blood. Her eyes looked to the Tabby and then to the Scarlet Queen who's eyes showed no trust unlike the Tabby's. Moving to the door, the Persian threw her tired and sore frame against it and forced it open, " Quick. I can't keep it open much longer." She waited, her body straining as the two other cats slipped in passed her and then she let the door shut, her body falling to the ground.

"Just stay here… we can find her." Munkustrap gave the fallen queen a look of thanks and headed into the shadowed strange room to find his beloved golden queen, with said queen's sister behind him.

------------ ------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------

Suddenly Macavity grew still. His fur bristled and he pulled himself away from the bloodied and unconscious Demeter, letting her body fall into a crumpled heap to the floor. The three of them were no longer alone, he could sense it, he could smell their scents and he grinned a grin that would make even the devil himself cower in fright. His eyes lifted, his cold blue irises finding the soft hazel ones of his daughter, and he smiled, " We have some guests it seems. Now watch your mother dearest while I give them a proper greeting." He turned and slinked into the shadows, leaving Demeter half dead and her daughter forever scarred.

Jemima looked at the small form of her mother laying there on the cold ground, her blood slowly trickling from various wounds along her broken body. So they had guests, and the little princess struggled to find her voice, finally managing a soft mew, slowly it became louder until she was able to cry out, " Help Me… Us… Help!" Her throat screamed at her, she choked and began to sputter and cough almost uncontrollably when suddenly she felt herself begin to lower and with wild eyes looked down, a sigh of relief crossing her youthful face.

Bombalurina had heard the kitten's cry for help and moved swiftly to where she was being held in a strange see-through box high above the ground. Once Jemima had spotted her, the red lady cat gave her niece a signal to keep quiet as she lowered her prison and set her free, grabbing the Jemima as she almost collapsed, " Ssh. It's okay gal. Now where is your Momma?"

Slowly Jemima pulled away and pointed behind her aunt, " There." Was all she could say before sobs over took her and she fell to her knees in shock.

Slowly Bomba turned around, almost afraid to look… her breath caught in her throat at the sight she beheld, and slowly she moved towards her sister's body, broken and battered on the floor, " Deme…" She slowly placed a paw on the feline's shoulder, almost afraid to touch her… afraid she would break, " Deme… answer me hun. Come on… please…" She didn't fight the tears for she knew and could instantly tell what the bastard had done to her and without thinking, the Scarlet furred cat called out, " Munkustrap! Oh Heavyside Munk hurry please! I found her…. Oh Everlasting Cat help her."

----------- ---------------------- ---------------------- ----------------------------------

He watched from the shadows as Bombalurina lowered the kit and set her free, he watched the red form fall to her knees at her sister's side and call for his damnable half-brother and all the while he grinned enjoying every moment for not only had this broken Demeter, but it was breaking everyone who loved her, who cared about her and from this Macavity felt a surge of power and with their backs turned from his place of hiding he slowly stalked from the shadows ready to strike.

" Look out!" Griddlebone had regained some strength, enough to get herself into the same area of the room everyone else was in and just in time to warn them of Macavity about to attack.

Munkustrap reacted quickly, his body turning and his paws, claws out coming into swift contact with his half-brother, but in the momentum Macavity's attack struck as well, his own claws gripping into the Tabby's arms. Both toms sneered in pain and backed slowly away and began to circle, claws still at the ready.

Seeing Macavity was distracted by the fight, Griddlebone moved swiftly across the room and collected her niece who had curled into a ball in her fragile state, " Come on m'dear you got to get out of the way." She got the kitten to stand and to walk slowly over to where her mother and other aunt was, a safer place than where Jemima had been.

Bomba was still desperately trying to revive her younger sister, but it seemed futile in effort, " I can't find a pulse… I don't know if she's just unconscious… or… something worse." She exclaimed to Griddlebone, who it seemed was just as concerned about Demeter… which the sultry queen found odd. However soon the fight drew her attentions along with Jemi's and Griddlebone's.

The two large toms were all over each other, scratching, biting, clawing, kicking and tearing. Munkustrap was bleeding profusely from his arms and chest, and Macavity from his face, legs and abdomen. However Munkustrap was beginning to tire, he wasn't pacing himself and slowly his elder half-brother began to over take him and dealt a blow went sent the Silver tom across the floor where he stopped and gave a groan holding his side which was now gushing crimson.

Macavity's eyes gleamed, his blood letting lust strong and powering him as he stalked proudly to tour over his brother's fallen form, " You fought well, I'm surprised, but not well eno---" Suddenly Macavity reared back, a small black and red form hanging from his neck where she, Jemima had lunged and bitten her Father, " You annoying little bitch!" And with that the ginger tom threw her body down to lay next to Munkustrap, " Now you will both die."

Griddlebone was now holding her conscious half-sister back, " Stay here. He'll kill you too." The scarlet cat was strong and finally the Persian threw her back and lept forward, throwing herself into Macavity's claws as he brought them down with the intention of killing Munkustrap and his own Daughter.

First she felt pain… and then hardly anything at all. The room had grown quiet, save for Macavity's pants and Jemima's sudden return of sobs. Griddlebone felt herself slipping, her body telling her to close her eyes which were now staring around frantically. She could feel air leaving her throat in an odd manner for Macavity had torn it wide open from her chest to her chin, and she found quickly she could not speak and she could barely even move.

He stood very still, so still it was hard to tell if he was breathing or not. There before him covered in blood was a very familiar white Persian queen, her blue eyes bloodshot and confused. Behind him he heard a groan of pain, obviously from Demeter's lips as he heard her sister hush her. Everything was still, all eyes moved between him and the savagely torn Griddlebone. Slowly he bent and picked her up, her blood staining his fur, melding with it's color perfectly, he saw her trying to speak, her lips moving but no sound would ever leave them again. Then just as she slipped away, he thought he heard her breathe " I loved you."

_**End of Chapter Fifteen**_


	16. Chap 16: World is on Fire

**Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

After The Jellicle Ball

**Chapter Sixteen: World is on Fire**

_I watch the heavens and I find a calling  
Something I can do to change this moment  
Stay close to me while the sky is falling  
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone…_

He had yelled at them, screamed and begged for them to just go. And they did, scared and bewildered, but one moment would forever remain with them all… Slowly she had approached the scene, limping and shaking, her bloodied paw slowly coming to rest on Macavity's shoulder before he shrugged it off and told her to be gone or she could die as well.

They ran down the corridors, back the way they came, Munkustrap though severely wounded carried the weakened and battered Demeter, while Bombalurina helped her frightened niece along.

Soon they came across the other four: Tugger, Alonzo, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, all who had a thousand questions burning deep in their eyes, but a silent answer was given, that all would be explained when they had returned to the Junkyard safely.

-------------- ----------------- ----------------------- ------------------ -------

At the Junkyard everyone was a buzz, for the rescue party it seemed had taken longer than anyone thought they should have taken, especially Deuteronomy, he seemed the most nervous of all, and he had good reason for his three sons… the three he claimed anyways were in Macavity's lair, and even though the ginger cat was also his son, the Jellicle leader held little love for the tom at all, and feared for the lives of his tribe members.

" They're coming!" Mistoffelees quickly announced as he peered over the vicarage wall and down onto the street, " They're coming! They have Demeter and Jemima!" He announced relieved to the Jellicles below him.

Old Deuteronomy exhaled and chuckled for he hadn't even realized he had been holding his breath, and for so long as well, " Hurry help them, for I am sure they are wounded." He motioned towards the gates as the group came in, all of them worn and tired looking.

Munkustrap hailed his father, Demeter holding to him for comfort and safety, her claws digging deeper into his fur if anyone tried to pry her from the silver tom and even though he liked this sudden trust she had in him, both of them needed Jenny's doctoring, " Let them take you Deme, I'll be with you even if I'm not holding you." He told her softly and slowly she allowed Skimbleshanks and Gus Jr. to take her into Jenny's tub, her eyes always looking too see if Munkustrap was behind her, which of course he was.

--------- ----------- ------------------- ----------------- --------------------

Two days had passed, and Munkustrap knew he had to report the entire ordeal to his father. Slowly he made his way to the elder cat's lair and stepped inside, giving the old coon a deep respectful bow.

" Rise my son and tell me what you have come to say." Deuteronomy motioned for his son and heir to sit beside him, " Start at the beginning."

Taking a deep calming breath, Munkustrap launched into his horrorific tale, leaving nothing out except the things which he didn't know. He told the graying tom about the state in which Demeter had been found and was sure that Macavity had done the worse he could without killing the queen. He unraveled how Jemima had been forced to see everything and how in the end the Persian queen had saved them all, " I don't even know who she was Father." The Sentinel added solemnly and sadly.

The aged Leader sat back in silence, his mind going over all which the Tabby had told him, it was a terrible tale, and it sickened his stomach and he doubted he would eat at all for the rest of the day," She was a martyr. That is all that matters." It wasn't very often that Old Deuteronomy showed his sons any physical love, especially Munkustrap and none of them had ever come to expect it much either, but for some reason the old coon found himself embracing his eldest and telling him all would be okay as if he was a child who had skinned the fur from his knee.

Slowly the father and son parted, and the father encouraged the son to give him some time alone now, which the Tabby was eager to do, " I need to check on Deme anyways, I fear Macavity has really done it this time. She hardly speaks and seems to shake all over. Luckily no kit will come of her trial this time and thank the Everlasting Cat for I fear it would kill her."

Deuteronomy nodded seemingly in agreeance with his the silver sentinel and watched as he turned and left, a few bandages still about his form, " Just love her my son. For it is all she needs. And protect her."

------------- ----------------------- ------------------- -------------------- ----

Slowly he entered the tub which Jennyanydots used as an infirmary for the Jellicles who occasionally became injured or ill. He smile as the newly mated couple of Bomba and Tugger left, and his smile grew a bit more at the motherly glow that was beginning to grow in his queen-in-law's eyes.

He waited until Jenny had changed her bandages before he entered the area she had been in since her return to the junkyard. Flowers, cards even various magical objects lay around her giving the overly white area life and viberence. He softly returned her smile as he settled himself on the cot beside her and gently took her bandaged paw in his and kissed her cheek, " How do you feel today?"

" Better. " She sighed and looked away, he looked so in love… and still she couldn't seem to move beyond the past. It still haunted her so as if Macavity had made it so it always would.

" That's good. I heard Jenny say she'll let you go in a few days." He stroked her paw, getting a whisper of a purr from her.

" That's nice but… I have no where to go… and I … I don't feel right intruding on Bomba and Tugs. They don't need to be fussing and worrying over me." She sounded lost, even dejected and misplaced, " And Jelly's got a full house as it is with Plato and Jemi there." She closed her eyes for a moment, her emotions so tender that basically anything could make her tear up.

Slowly and carefully he took her in his arms, his paws caressing her back lightly, " It'll be okay beloved. It will be okay, I promise." For a moment he felt her stiffen, but then she broke into sobs and collapsed against him, and he held her as she cried until she could do so no more, " I have room you know." He offered, his breath coming to a stop as he waited for her to say something… anything.

" I… I… don't know." She did her best to push away and she knew he let her go, both of them knowing she was barely strong enough to hold her own weight up let alone push against the strength of a tom twice her size.

" Please. I asked you once and I'm asking again." He shifted his weight from the cot, going to one knee as the humans often did in romantic moving pictures, " Let me take care of you, let me love you. You don't even have to love me back… but you need me to take care of you. I want to take care of you." He waited his eyes trying to capture hers desperately, and when he became fed up with her gaze avoiding his, he softly took her chin and forced her to look at him, her green and brown eyes glazed with tears, " I love you… I always have."

She sighed, " I know. I've always known. I'm… I'm just scared. Not of you but of this feeling you bring out in me… because I felt it once before and look where it landed me."

He nodded, understanding more than she realize he did, " I'm not him and I'll prove this to you everyday if I need too. Every minute, every hour, every second."

Slowly Demeter found herself leaning forward, her eyes fluttering closed as she timidly brushed her lips across his and opened her eyes, " Love me. That's all I ask I of you. Just love me and keep me safe. Keep the nightmares at bay."

He felt as if he could die there as she kissed him and her words… well he felt as if he was flying. All the pain of his heart faded and he slowly took her in his arms once more and kissed her with all the bent-up passion he had help within for so long.

---------------- -------------------- ------------------ ------------ --------

He had buried her, just outside a park she always talked about. Of course he had done in the cloak of night, and he thought he had felt himself shed tears as he performed the act.

But that was hours ago, now he stood in the shadows and watched them embrace. How it hurt to see their love manifest so powerfully… but for now he would let them be. He would let them build their happiness and live in their dreamland of love. For now.

**_The End_**

**__**

**Author's End Note: **I hope you all enjoyed the story, especially those of you who had first began to read it under it's old title. There is a link to another song on my profile which is sort of like the ending song if this had a soundtrack... which I guess it kind of does. 


End file.
